Where We Belong
by Steflenalove
Summary: My first fanfic from the Fosters it will center around Stef and Lena. I want to start from the beginning and eventually lead up to where they are now. Some chapters will be rated "M" so to be safe I will rate the whole story as "M". It will include all characters in the end.
1. First Meeting

It has already been a long day and the day just started, spent the morning fighting with Mike over what school to send Brandon to. I am really interested in checking out Anchor Beach Charter School where as Mike thinks we should send him to some random school. Something about this school intrigued me so I set off for my first initial meeting with the Assistant Vice Principle Lena Adams to get a tour of the school. I asked Mike to come along even though we have been separated for months now, I felt it was important for him to come see the school but he was having no part in it. As I sit in my car in the parking lot of the school my mind wanders to my earlier argument with Mike.

**Stef:** Mike I really think you should come and check out this school with me. They have so much to offer and I think Brandon will do well there.

**Mike:** Stef I don't understand what the big deal is about this school. Why does it matter anyways your going to send him wherever you want anyways.

I could smell the alcohol on his breath I knew that he had been drinking and it was only 12 in the afternoon. I really hope that he can get some help with his drinking for Brandon's sake not to mention his job.

**Stef: **Mike have you been drinking?

**Mike:** Why do you care Stef? You left me remember so really does it matter what I do?

**Stef:** Yes Mike it matters what you do. Your Brandon's father and it is only 12

**Mike:** Well it is happy hour somewhere

**Stef:** Mike please I really think you should get some help

**Mike:** I don't need help Stef what I need is my wife back.

Sighing I turned and walked out of his apartment slamming the door behind me. That man can make me so angry sometimes but today wasn't about him today was about Brandon. I get in to my car looking back up at the apartment before sighing and driving off. And now here I am sitting in front of this school I have heard such amazing things about and know I wipe the few tears that fall from my face, fix my hair and get out of the car. Taking one more deep breath I head into the school.

**(Come on eh yeah!)**  
><strong>Got caught in a dream world,<strong>  
><strong>Where you are my dream girl<strong>  
><strong>Since you first came around and talked to me.<strong>  
><strong>But my words got choked up, wish I would've spoke up<strong>  
><strong>But now you and me are only make believe.<strong>

Walking into the school I introduce myself to the secretary who kindly informed me that the vice principle was held up in a meeting and would be a few minutes longer, handing me a visitor pass she recommended I take a walk outside and she would send Miss Adams to find me. Now here I am sitting on the bench looking around at these amazing school grounds thinking how lucky Brandon would be to go to a school like this. My thoughts are interrupted by a woman walking towards me.

_Finally finished my meeting and heading back to my office when I am reminded I have a meeting with a potential new parent. I turn and head outside when I see her sitting there on the bench. She is one of the most beautiful women that I have ever seen and I stand here for a few minutes just staring at her, before I remind myself she is married and a potential parent. Get yourself together Lena and do your job, this woman is not a lesbian and isn't here for you. I shake the feeling I have stirring inside of me and walk towards her. Walking towards her I put out my hand and introduce myself to her._

**Because I'm tongue tied.**  
><strong>I can't find the words to say that I-I need you by my side.<strong>  
><strong>But I'm terrified just to talk to you.<strong>  
><strong>I won't be satisfied 'til I'm tongue tied with you.<strong>

**Lena:** Hi I'm Lena Adams The assistant Vice Principle

_Shaking this woman's hand my heart starts beating faster as if I never want to let go. Hearing her voice nearly sent me over the edge. Holding onto her hand a little longer then I should sent shivers down my spine. This is going to be one long tour. Get it together Lena just get it together._

**Stef:** Hi I am Stef Foster

Shaking hands I feel this shot of electricity flow through me and I am at a loss for words. Staring at this woman before me I am caught off guard by her beauty and my heart pounding so fast I feel like it is about to jump out of my chest. Stef get it together this is the Assistant Vice Principle of the school your wanting to send your son to. Brandon Stef you are here for Brandon. Finally I let go of her hand and instantly feel a sense of sadness I didn't want to let go of her hand but I knew I had to. She smiled and let out an akward laugh. Way to go Stef just great.

**Lena:** So your son

**Stef:** Brandon... is Brandon (laughing slightly and hearing her laugh my god this woman is driving me crazy I can't think straight)

Lena: Brandon he will be starting kindergarten this fall.

**Stef:** yes he's 5

**Lena:** Great well I would be glad to give you a tour tell you about our school. Are we waiting for your husband to join?

**Stef:** Oh no he's not..he ah he couldn't make it

Why was that so hard to get out, why can't I seem to form a complete sentence around this woman. We both laugh slightly and all I want to do is get through this tour without making a complete fool out of myself. Lena was the first to break the awkwardness.

**Lena:** Ok well uhm...follow me

**Stef:** Ok

_I start walking and see her follow me. This is going to be one long tour just put yourself together Lena you do several tours a week this should be no different. Of course it is different as I have never been attracted to another parent before, but there is something about Stef Foster, maybe it is her eyes or the sound of her voice I can't get the sound of her voice out of my head. I want to get through this tour as quickly as possible but at the same time I don't want it to end as I feel this strong pull to this woman. I shake my head and start the tour. _

**So now it's a new day, better get outta my way**  
><strong>Gotta make you understand my master plan.<strong>  
><strong>I'm gonna practice my words, all my nouns and verbs<strong>  
><strong>Anything I could do to get through to you.<strong>

After following Lena around for an hour our tour came to an end and I felt my heart sink. I really didn't want this tour to end, in fact I really didn't want to leave Lena. But eventually it was time to say goodbye, I grabbed the application forms and thanked Lena for the tour as she walked me out to my car. Again we shook hands and I felt my hand grip tighter to hers not wanting to let go.

**Stef:** uhm thanks... a... you know for the tour. I... uhm will talk to my husband... well ex... uhm I will talk to Mike as we are SEPARATED and let you know our decision (Emphasizing the word Separated probably more then I should have but feeling I needed to let Lena know that I am not with my husband)

_I stood staring at this woman in front of me flustered with her words, feeling my heart race a mile a minute everytime she smiles at me and listening to the sound of her voice makes me smile. As we shake hand I can feel her hand gripping tighter as I listen to her talk about her husband and then I heard it. SEPARATED she is separated from her husband and I can't help but feel my stomach start doing flips. Was she trying to tell me something. No she couldn't be Lena she isn't gay she is not a lesbian and there is no way that she is interested in you that way. All this while I still notice that we are still holding hands, I finally release my hand from hers regrettably feeling a sense of loss upon doing so. Her hand fit perfect in mine it made me feel something I have never felt before and now I was scared how could I feel this for someone I don't even know, someone who would never look at me in that way. I feel my chest getting heavier I know I need to get out of here as quickly as possible and hopefully avoid anymore contact with Stef Foster again._

**I'm gonna make you mine,**  
><strong>No matter rain or shine<strong>  
><strong>I just need some time.<strong>

**Lena:** Great I look forward to hearing from you guys. Thanks I should go.

_Quickly I turn on my heels and try to control myself from sprinting away from this woman. I finally make it back to my office and I shut the door and feel the tears start welling up in my eyes. I look at the clock and see it is only 2 and I still have hours left of my day. I wipe away the single tear that fell from my face reminding myself that I can't let myself fall for a straight married woman. From now on I will let the principle deal with Stef Foster._

**Because I'm tongue tied.**  
><strong>I can't find the words to say that I-I need you by my side.<strong>  
><strong>But I'm terrified just to talk to you<strong>  
><strong>I won't be satisfied 'til I'm tongue tied with you.<strong>

I get in my car and sit there for what seems like an eternity. All I keep thinking of is Lena Adams and her black hair and amazing brown eyes and how touching her hand made me feel something I haven't felt in since Tess back in high school. My heart finally returns to normal as I notice I am still touching my hand and swear I can still feel her hand in mine, I can't believe how perfect it felt having her hand in mine. I can't help but smile at the thought of Lena but I then remind myself. Dammit Stef you can't do this you have a husband and a son and for Brandon's sake you need to try and work things out with Mike. Your not gay Stef and I am pretty sure that Lena isn't as well. I turn on the car and start driving home to my son and my mom who is with Brandon. Trying to shake Lena Adams from my mind.

**Knees weak, can't speak**  
><strong>I'm just stu-stu-stuck on repeat.<strong>  
><strong>I'm thinking 'bout her 8 days a weeks it's not enough for me.<strong>  
><strong>Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh<strong>  
><strong>Because I'm tongue tied.<strong>  
><strong>I can't find the words to say that I-I need you by my side.<strong>  
><strong>But I'm terrified just to talk to you<strong>  
><strong>I won't be satisfied 'til I'm tongue tied with you.<strong>

Song Credit: Tongue Tied by Stereo Skyline


	2. Admitting

Just want to say thanks for the reviews already :) I am looking forward at getting more to Stef and Lena just want to make sure I fill in gaps that we didn't get in the show :) I absolutely love Stef and Lena so excited to write more.

Now onto the Update:

**I shouldn't love you but I want to  
>I just can't turn away<br>I shouldn't see you but I can't move  
>I can't look away<strong>

I shouldn't love you but I want to  
>I just can't turn away<br>I shouldn't see you but I can't move  
>I can't look away<p>

_**STEF'S POINT OF VIEW:**_

The evening after getting home from the school tour and tucking Brandon in for the night I come into the kitchen seeing my mom standing there with two glasses of wine and hands one to me.

**Sharon:** So tell me what's going on with you?

**Stef:** What are you talking about?

**Sharon:** Your mind has been a million miles away since you came home.

**Stef:** Sorry mom just a lot on my mind

**Sharon:** Well I am all ears

I look at my mom knowing that I needed to talk to someone and someone who wouldn't judge me. Finally I took a deep breath and out it came.

**Stef:** I met someone

**Sharon:** Really? Who? Where? What about Mike?

**Stef:** Whoa mom one thing at a time. Mike is drinking again and I just don't see us working out we have been separated for months now mom and nothing. And today I met this amazing person (I am not ready to tell her just yet that it is a woman) who made me feel something I haven't felt since I was 16 and when we shook hands it was like a dream come true the person I have waited my whole life for was standing right in front of me. My heart was beating so fast I felt it was going to jump right out of my chest, I couldn't get my words out and sounded like a total fool and not once was I made to feel like that. And at the end of it. I never wanted to say goodbye and oh god mom how could this happen

**And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not**  
><strong>'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop<strong>

**Sharon:** What's her name?

When I heard my mom say her my jaw dropped as I stared at her in disbelief. How could she possibly know I was talking about a woman.

**Stef:** Mom how...I mean I didn't say...I mean what

**Sharon:** You said you haven't felt this way since you were 16 and the only time I ever knew you feeling this way about someone was with Tess. Stef I know who you are and I am just glad that you have finally found out who you are. Time to stop living the life your dad and everyone else expected you to live and start living your life for you.

I look at my mom and the tears start to run down my face as I fall into my moms embrace. I am speechless all this time and she knew before I did that I was gay. I Stephanie Marie Foster am a Lesbian.

**Just so you know**  
><strong>This feeling's taking control of me<strong>  
><strong>And I can't help it<strong>  
><strong>I won't sit around, I can't let him win now<strong>  
><strong>Thought you should know<strong>  
><strong>I've tried my best to let go of you<strong>  
><strong>But I don't want to<strong>  
><strong>I just gotta say it all<strong>  
><strong>Before I go<strong>  
><strong>Just so you know<strong>

After what seemed like hours I finally lie in bed and all I can think of is Lena Adams. I can't stop thinking of how I felt when I first saw her and how shaking her hand took my breath away and how every time I tried to speak I was at a loss for words. And how all I want to do is kiss her, touch her and make love to her. Then my dads voice popped into my head Stef you are not Gay and being Gay is a Sin. All thoughts floated back to when I was 16 and he caught me on the couch cuddling with Tess and sent me to see the priest and the long lecture I got there about how being gay is wrong and is a sin. I rolled over curled up with my blankets and let the tears flow thinking how my heart is aching, Aching for a woman that I have just met and a woman who I would give anything to be with. Finally sleep has consumed me.

**It's getting hard to be around you**  
><strong>There's so much I can't say<strong>  
><strong>Do you want me to hide the feelings<strong>  
><strong>And look the other way<strong>

**And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not**  
><strong>'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop<strong>

**LENA'S POINT OF VIEW:**

Finally I am done work and I realize that I have to head to my friends Jenna and Kelly's for dinner well actually a set up dinner, they have been trying to set me up with this woman Lisa for quite sometime. But all I really want to do is go home and try to forget about Stef Foster. The rest of the day at work all I could think about was her touch and how soft her hands felt when we shook hands twice and how strong of a grip she had on my hand when it was time to say goodbye. All I can see are those beautiful blue eyes staring back at me. God Lena you have to stop this you can't let yourself feel things for her you have to stop. Jenna and Kelly have someone they have been wanting to introduce you to for months now and you can't cancel now. Maybe Lisa is exactly what I need a nice Gay woman someone who isn't married, and not complicated. That is exactly what I need now.

**Jenna:** Lena your here it is so great to see you. Honey Lena's here

**Kelly:** Hey Lena come on in I got a glass of wine with your name on it.

**Lena:** Thanks great to see you (I nervously look around noticing that it is just Jenna and Kelly at the moment)

**Jenna:** Don't worry Lisa isn't here yet.

**Lena:** Wine sounds great. I could really use a glass

**Kelly:** Hey everything alright?

**Lena:** Yes it's just... nevermind

**Jenna:** I know that look you met someone

**Kelly:** No you can't Lisa is coming

**Lena:** No I uhm no I didn't meet anyone

**Jenna:** Spill

**Lena:** Okay I met this amazing woman who I can't stop thinking about today. I gave her a tour as her 5 year old son Brandon is going into Kindergarten in the fall and she was interested in my school. Well...

**Kelly:** Wait she has a 5 year old son?

**Jenna:** Let her finish

**Lena:** Yes she has a 5 year old son and she is married and totally straight but I just can't stop thinking about her and how I felt this immediate connection with her and a spark that I haven't felt since Gretchen. I couldn't think straight and I couldn't stop looking at her and when we shook hands I never wanted to let it go. Oh god what is wrong with me

**Just so you know**  
><strong>This feeling's taking control of me<strong>  
><strong>And I can't help it<strong>  
><strong>I won't sit around, I can't let him win now<strong>  
><strong>Thought you should know<strong>  
><strong>I've tried my best to let go of you<strong>  
><strong>But I don't want to<strong>  
><strong>I just gotta say it all<strong>  
><strong>Before I go<strong>  
><strong>Just so you know<strong>

**Jenna:** There is nothing wrong with you Lena

**Kelly:** I think that your hurt from what happened with Gretchen and I think that your wanting to find yourself attracted to an unavailable woman so that you don't get hurt again.

Right then is when the doorbell rang and Kelly jumped up to answer the door and my night was about to get interesting. Here I am supposed to be meeting an available woman and all I can think of is Stef...damn Stef Foster.

**Jenna:** Hey Lena you know maybe Kelly is right but maybe she is wrong. If you felt something for this woman then maybe there is a reason besides I haven't seen you smile like that in a long time.

I am left to ponder Jenna's comment when in walks Kelly with a tall white woman with black hair.

**Kelly:** Lisa this is Lena, Lena this is Lisa

I look up and shake her hand and instantly I notice that feeling I had earlier with Stef was not there. Nothing I didn't feel my heart race or feel a loss for words. It was that moment that I realized maybe Jenna was right. Maybe there was a reason that Stef Foster walked into my life today and maybe I wasn't imagining everything that I felt today. I just know that I need to get out of here as quickly as I possibly can. I look over at Jenna and it was like she could read my mind.

**This emptiness is killing me**  
><strong>And I'm wondering why I've waited so long<strong>  
><strong>Looking back I realize<strong>  
><strong>It was always there just never spoken<strong>  
><strong>I'm waiting here...been waiting here<strong>

**Jenna:** Hey Lisa would you like a glass of wine?

**Lisa:** Sure that sounds great.

**Kelly:** Your not gonna stay are you?

**Lena:** I'm sorry I can't

**Kelly:** I hope you know what your getting yourself into. Married straight women are never good news.

**Lena:** I'm sorry but I have to

I grabbed my purse and ran out of the house and drove home with a million thoughts running through my head. I don't know what I am going to do or what is going to happen. I just know that I want to see Stef Foster and I want to know if I was imagining what I felt today or if there was something there. Finally once I get home I collapse on my bed my mind still thinking of Stef until I finally fell asleep.

**Just so you know**  
><strong>This feeling's taking control of me<strong>  
><strong>And I can't help it<strong>  
><strong>I won't sit around, I can't let him win now<strong>  
><strong>Thought you should know<strong>  
><strong>I've tried my best to let go of you<strong>  
><strong>But I don't want to<strong>  
><strong>I just gotta say it all<strong>  
><strong>Before I go<strong>  
><strong>Just so you know<strong>

Song Credit: Just So You Know by Jesse McCartney


	3. First Date

**Heart beats fast**  
><strong>Colors and promises<strong>  
><strong>How to be brave?<strong>  
><strong>How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?<strong>  
><strong>But watching you stand alone,<strong>  
><strong>All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow.<strong>

**One step close**r

It has been 1 week since my first meeting Lena and coming to terms with the fact that I am gay. I almost feel as if a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders, for so long I have been living a lie and trying to live my life the way my dad would want me to, the way my dad would be proud of me for. Mom was right I can't keep living my life for everyone else and I need to start living it for me now. Do I regret marrying Mike absolutely not I really tried and I really wanted to be straight, I really wanted to be a normal family, but it isn't working and it isn't fair to me or Mike or even Brandon for that matter. I need to be happy and Brandon deserves to have a mom that is happy, how can I teach my son to stand on his own two feet and be happy and do what makes him happy if I haven't been doing it myself. As I sit in the parking lot of the school with Brandon's application in my hand I know it is now or never. I walk into the school and head straight for the office and immediately ask for Lena. I feel my heart racing and my palms getting sweaty as the secretary calls Lena. Then there she is walking towards me and I feel like I just want to run to her and pour my heart out to her and tell her she has been on my mind constantly for the last week. But I stop myself because that is just crazy.

_It has been 1 week since my first meeting with Stef and I haven't stopped thinking about her. She occupies every second of my mind and I find it so hard to focus on anything other then her. Is she getting back with her husband? did she feel something for me as well? will I ever see her again? Finally I looked up her number the one she left when she booked her appointment to tour the school. I now sit at my desk with her number in my hands picking up the phone I start to dial and then hang up. Come one Lena you can do this just call her. What's the worst that can happen? Finally my phone rings and I pick it up and am informed that Stef Foster is here to see me. I am caught off guard I wasn't expecting her to come. I quickly put her number down and head out to see her and once she is in my vision I am breathless again and I want to run to her but that is crazy I can't do that. Stay calm Lena and remain professional._

**I have died everyday waiting for you**  
><strong>Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you<strong>  
><strong>For a thousand years<strong>  
><strong>I'll love you for a thousand more<strong>

**Lena:**

**Stef:** Stef please call me Stef (As I shudder at her calling me , I reach my hand out and to shake hers and again there was that feeling instantly as soon as our hands met I know now more then ever I am supposed to be with this woman)

**Lena:** Alright Stef call me Lena. So what can I do for you?

**Stef:** Uhm...I brought Brandon's application

**Lena:** Oh that's great you decided to send him here, I look forward to meeting him. You know that you could have just left it up front here.

**Stef:** Ahh ya I know but I was hoping you had a minute

**Lena:** Uhm ya sure lets go to my office (I look at this woman carefully trying to figure her out but she is so difficult to read)

**Time stands still**  
><strong>Beauty in all she is<strong>  
><strong>I will be brave<strong>  
><strong>I will not let anything take away<strong>  
><strong>What's standing in front of me<strong>  
><strong>Every breath<strong>  
><strong>Every hour has come to this<strong>

**One step closer**

Once we arrive in her office she shuts the door and offers me a seat. After a quick glance around I notice my name and number on her desk must be the cop in me that I would notice something like that. Why does she have my number? Was she going to call me? I feel myself getting more nervous and starting to shake slightly no one has ever had this affect on me as I try to focus and calm my nerves I am interrupted by the sound of her voice.

**Lena:** So what can I do for you Stef?

**Stef:** Go out for dinner with me. (And I quickly cover my mouth as I wasn't expecting to just blurt it out that fast)

**Lena:** What? (I am shocked did she just ask me out to dinner?)

**Stef:** Sorry I uhm maybe I shouldn't have asked you (I can't believe I did that and now I am totally embarrassed the red starting to show in my face, I get up to leave)

**Lena:** No don't go. Sorry I was just caught off guard I wasn't expecting that.

**Stef:** Neither was I to be honest

**Lena:** Look Stef I think your a very nice woman but your married

**Stef:** No I am separated and ever since I met you I can't stop thinking about you. (I walk towards her and take her hands in mine) Lena I really can't stop thinking about you and I would really like to take you out for dinner please

_Looking into those blue eyes for the first time since I met her I could read her, she was sincere and she looked terrified waiting for my response. My hands are getting all shaky and I can feel myself tremble slightly as I feel her hands around mine I want so badly for this to be true that she wants me as much as I want her, but I know women like her they aren't here for good they are just passing through. But what if she's not? What if she isn't just passing through. _

**I have died everyday waiting for you**  
><strong>Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you<strong>  
><strong>For a thousand years<strong>  
><strong>I'll love you for a thousand more<strong>

**Lena:** Ok lets have dinner

She said yes and I felt my heart swell. Finally all my nerves settled as I am standing there still holding her hands. I smile at her and give her hands a gently squeeze.

**Stef:** How about I pick you up at 6?

**Lena:** That sounds great (Regrettably I let go of her hands write down my address and phone number handing it to her) I should get back to work.

**Stef:** Right okay see you tonight.

_It is 5:40 and I am pacing my apartment waiting for Stef to pick me up. I can't believe how nervous I am and the butterflies floating around in my stomach. Not sure if this is a really good idea or not but I need to find out and I didn't have the heart to say no to her. Looking into her eyes filled with hope, desire and sincerity I found myself saying ok without totally thinking this through. I picked out a simple dress that shows just enough cleavage and shows off my curves, I have no idea where we are going but I wanted to look nice for her. _

**And all along I believed I would find you**  
><strong>Time has brought your heart to me<strong>  
><strong>I have loved you for a thousand years<strong>  
><strong>I'll love you for a thousand more<strong>

**One step closer**  
><strong>One step closer<strong>

It is 5:45 and I am on my way to Lena's stopping quickly to pick her up some flowers, tonight I am going to put out all the stops. I pull up to the house fix my blouse and check my hair, as I walk towards the door and buzz up waiting for her to answer.

**Lena:** Stef hi come on in

**Stef:** Wow you look beautiful...oh right these are for you

**Lena:** Thanks (smiling at her I take the flowers and go put them in a vase) you look pretty great yourself

**Stef:** Thanks. So you ready to go?

**Lena:** Sure

Following her out the door I find my hand goes to the small of her back as I guide her out to my car. The ride to the restaurant was full of small conversation but it felt comfortable and right. This felt right for the first time in my life I felt that I was doing the right thing and that I was with the right person.

**I have died everyday waiting for you**  
><strong>Darling don't be afraid I have loved you<strong>  
><strong>For a thousand years<strong>  
><strong>I'll love you for a thousand more<strong>

_I felt Stef's hand go to the small of my back and it made me feel comfortable as if that is where her hand belonged this whole time. The conversation flowed nicely onto the way to the restaurant. I smile as we pull up to this really cute restaurant. I have heard about this place and have always wanted to come here but it has a 4 month wait just to get a reservation so now I am extremely impressed._

**Lena:** Stef how did you? This place is almost impossible to get into.

**Stef:** I have my ways

**Hostess:** Name and Reservation?

**Stef:** Foster for 2 at 6:30

**Hostess:** Foster right ya follow me please (We follow the hostess to this quiet little table in the corner)

**Lena:** So really how did you get in here so quickly you just asked me to dinner this afternoon?

**Stef:** Well about a month ago there was a robbery here and I was one of the first officers to respond and after catching the guy the owner said anytime I wanted to come to give him a call. I thought that tonight would be the perfect night to do so.

**Lena:** So your cop?

**Stef:** Yes I am a cop

_I think to myself how sexy she must be wearing a uniform, normally the thought of guns bothered me but with Stef I don't think anything could bother me at all. She was beautiful, smart, and funny and tonight I am really enjoying myself. This feels so right her and I. I couldn't help but reach over and take her hand in mine as we continue to talk about our lives. After dinner we head back to my place and she walks me back to my door and we stand there for a few minutes and I find myself losing myself in her eyes, her hand is in mine and then I feel her pull me close to her and I lean in and kiss her. Our tongues swirling together as if they were always meant to dance together. I feel my heart calm itself down and find myself melting into her. Then it hits me wait a minute she is married and I quickly pull back._

**Lena:** Stef what are we doing here?

**Stef:** I thought it was obvious we are on a date

**Lena:** Your married Stef with a son

**Stef:** I am separated Lena and yes I have a son, but I don't want to be married to Mike anymore. Ever since I met you all I have been able to think about is you and how I want to be with you.

**Lena:** I'm sorry Stef I can't do this

Kissing her felt amazing it felt as if we were always meant to kiss, I felt myself melting into her losing myself in her kiss feeling her arms around my neck and mine pulling her closer to me wanting to be as closer to her as possible and then she pulls back and says she can't do this and I am now standing here facing a closed door. I place my hand on her door and lean my head against it softly as I feel the tears start to run down my cheek. This is not how I wanted our night to end.

**And all along I believed I would find you**  
><strong>Time has brought your heart to me<strong>  
><strong>I have loved you for a thousand years<strong>  
><strong>I'll love you for a thousand more<strong>

_I quickly bolt inside shutting the door and lean my head back against it. I feel my eyes starting to burn fighting back the tears how could something feel so right but be wrong? Finally I make my way to my bedroom where I fall onto my bed crying knowing that this woman was just passing through and I have allowed myself to start falling for her, someone I just met and someone who is completely unavailable._


	4. Choosing You

****PLEASE NOTE*****

This Chapter is going to focus mostly on Stef and from her point of view once reading you will see why :)  
>Hope you Enjoy :)<p>

**Forbidden love I don´t care, **  
><strong>I don´t care what anybody<strong>  
><strong>thinks as long as you<strong>  
><strong>are here with me, <strong>  
><strong>here with me.<strong>

It has been 3 weeks since my date with Lena, 1 month since meeting her for the first time. I can't sleep or think clearly, I call her repeatedly and feel like I have left her hundreds of messages. So here I am now sitting in front of her apartment building waiting for her to leave for work, I can't take this anymore my heart is breaking and my whole body just aches for her. I finally see her come out of her building and I jump out of my car to run after her.

**Stef:** Lena

_I hear Stef's voice calling me and it has killed me listening to every message she has left me. I can't do this, I can't get more involved with a married woman. I can't get my heart broken again by a woman who is just passing through. _

**Lena:** Please Stef I can't do this

**Stef:** Lena please just please (I feel the tears fall down my face and I hear the crackling of my voice begging her)

_I hear the pain in Stef's voice and I turn around I see the tears streaming down her face. It breaks my heart to see her in so much pain and looking into those eyes I know I can't say no to her. So I stop and just nod at her._

**Stef:** Lena I think I am in love with you and I know that sounds crazy considering we just met but I have never felt this way about anyone before ever. Please don't push me away as I can't imagine my life without you in it. Please Lena tell me you don't feel something between us. Please

_I am speechless at her confession and I so badly want to believe her but she is still married and she is still in the closet if she is really gay._

**Lena:** Stef how? I don't even know what to describe this. Our date was amazing and yes I felt something between us but Stef I am not the one who is married or separated or whatever you want to define it. I am a gay woman and I know who I am and I can't just be some experiment for you Lena I can't and I won't.

**Stef:** Your not an experiment for me Lena

_I can't bear to look at her anymore I can't let my emotions show through because what I really want to do is grab her and kiss her right now and never let her go but I can't do this_

**Lena:** I have to go to work please Stef just go.

I watch as Lena gets into her car and drives off. I know exactly what I have to do, I have to tell Mike and my dad and everyone I know. I have to tell them about this amazing woman I met that I can't live without a woman I don't want to live without. A woman that means absolutely everything to me, I have to show her that she is more then an experiment to me, that she is the one I have been waiting for my whole life, the one who completes me. I get into my car and head the cafe where I am supposed to be meeting Mike. When I arrive I see him sitting there waiting for me as I walk towards him he stands up and greets me with a kiss on the cheek.

**Where do we go from**  
><strong>here I don´t know <strong>  
><strong>you´re the only what I want<strong>  
><strong>the only one, we´re so<strong>  
><strong>meant to be. <strong>

**Stef:** Hi

**Mike:** Hey

**Stef:** How are ya? Sorry I'm late

**Mike:** Look the separation has been good...I mean bad but good it's made me realize I have not been present in our marriage for awhile and I'm sorry. Our family's everything to me Stef I'm going to spend more time with you and Brandon. I'm gonna communicate, hell I'll even go to counselling...I just I love you.

**Stef** (taking a deep breath): Counselling can't fix what's wrong with us

**Mike:** I thought that's what you wanted?

**Stef:** Your a good man and a really good dad but I haven't been happy

**Mike:** Ya lately me neither. But things were good before Stef

**Stef:** Because I tried to make them good...but...ah...but something was missing because I was not able to love you the way you love me.

**Mike:** I don't understand why not?

**Stef:** Because I'm gay...I'm a lesbian...and I'm so sorry for you and for me for..for it taking so long to be able to say that and to accept before now ahh

**Mike:** Why now?

**Stef:** Because I met someone

**Mike:** Wow so now what?

**Stef:** I'm so sorry Mike but I can't pretend anymore that I am not gay and it isn't fair to you or me or Brandon

**Mike:** Stef what about Brandon? How can you do this to him?

**Stef:** I am doing what's best for all of us Mike. I am a lesbian did you not here me? I can't ever love you the way you deserve to be loved and it isn't fair to any of us to pretend that I am not a lesbian.

**Mike:** Unbelievable I have to go

**I´m ready to jump, I´m never going under**  
><strong>I need you I can´t wait any longer ooh oh<strong>  
><strong>I´m so oh in love.<strong>

I sit there and watch Mike get up and leave and it breaks my heart knowing that I caused this pain when I should have just been honest with myself all along and none of this would have happened. I sigh and head toward my car as I know there is one more stop that I need to make and it was going to be the hardest as my dad is not going to be very accepting of this. But I have to shake his voice from my head and follow my heart and do what makes me happy. I pull up to house and head in.

**Stef:** Dad

**Frank:** Stef honey what are you doing here? It's so nice to see you.

I walk over and give my dad a kiss on the cheek.

**Stef:** Dad I need to talk to you about something and it's really important

**Frank:** What's wrong is everything okay with Mike? Brandon?

**Stef:** Yes dad Mike is fine and so is Brandon

**Frank:** Well then what's going on?

**Stef:** Dad Mike and I are getting divorced

**Frank:** What no Stef you can't get divorced

**Stef:** Don't dad you are not one to judge me about divorce

**Frank:** Why Stef? Why would you throw your life away?

**Stef:** That's just it dad I am not throwing my life away, I am choosing to live my life for me now. Dad I'm gay...I'm a lesbian dad

**Frank:** No Stef now your just talking crazy remember we had this talk already you even saw our pastor remember

**Stef:** Yes dad I remember very well but it still doesn't change the fact that I am gay dad.

**Frank:** Why now Stef? What brought this on?

**Stef:** I met a woman dad a woman that I can't live without, a woman that I belong with dad. A woman that I love

**Frank:** I think you should leave now Stef

I look at my dad and I feel the tears well up not surprised by his reaction it is exactly what I expected it to be. I grab my purse and leave time to head home and get some rest it has been a very long day.

**Incapable of failing, I know that we will last,**  
><strong>taking every risk come taking every chance <strong>  
><strong>ooh oh I´m so oh in <strong>

**la la la la love.**

Once I get home I pick up my phone and make a few phone calls to some of my friends telling them the truth about me that I am a Lesbian and about Lena and how I belong with her. Most of my friends weren't surprised by my coming out and a few that were but it didn't seem to bother them. After hanging up with them I had one more phone call I needed to make.

**Sharon:** Stef everything okay?

**Stef:** Mom I told Mike and I told Dad...I told them that I'm gay and I told them about Lena

**Sharon:** I'm proud of you honey. You know all I have ever want for you is to be happy. Did you tell Lena?

**Stef:** I saw her this morning but that was before I told Mike and Dad. I have to see her tomorrow, I just really hope I didn't screw things up mom. I love her mom and I belong with her. I need her mom.

**Sharon:** Then go get her hun

**Stef:** Thanks mom

**Sharon:** I love you

**Stef:** I love you to mom night

**Sharon:** night

**Destiny has brought us here **  
><strong>oh I can´t believe <strong>  
><strong>how much I feel<strong>  
><strong>seems like a dream. <strong>

That night I crawled into my bed missing my boy who was with his dad this evening. Feeling extremely overwhelmed and exhausted from the day, but then also never feeling better then I have before. I finally came out and told the people that are most important to me about Lena now to tell her tomorrow.

**It must be fate,**  
><strong>something bigger than us that<strong>  
><strong>brought me here, it´s obvious<strong>  
><strong>we´re so meant to be. <strong>

The next morning I get up and I drive myself right to the school where I know I will find Lena. I stand in the parking lot after calling her asking her to come out and see me. I am leaning against my car as she walks towards me and she has a look of frustration on her face and instantly starts talking.

**Lena:** I'm not doing this...I'm not...I'm not getting involved with a married woman. Women like you, you are just passing through but this is where I live Stef

**Stef:** I told Mike and my dad and I told all of my well most of my friends...I told them I'm gay...I even used the word lesbian. I tell them I met a woman that I can't live without and I...I belong with you Lena...That is if you'll

**I´m ready to jump, I´m never going under**  
><strong>I need you I can´t wait any longer ooh oh<strong>  
><strong>I´m so oh in love. <strong>

**Incapable of failing, I know that we will last,**  
><strong>taking every risk come taking every chance <strong>  
><strong>ooh oh I´m so oh in <strong>

**la la la la love. **

_I stand there staring at this woman who I have completely fallen for tell me that she told her husband, father and friends that she is a lesbian and that she can't live without me and how she belongs with me. I can't believe what I am hearing everything that I wished I would hear from her and she is now standing in front of me telling me exactly how she feels. My heart begins to race with excitement and love for this amazing woman standing in front of me. _

**Lena:** You had me at Lesbian

**We´ve changed the course of time**  
><strong>oh, everything´s so bright it´s perfect, kiss me.<strong>

**Everyting for love we do it all**  
><strong>because we´re meant to be<strong>

**la la la love.**

_The next thing I know and feel is Stef's arms holding onto mine pulling me closer to her and then our lips touch and after that I don't remember anything else but letting go and falling into her embrace. This is my woman the woman I belong with. After pulling apart I look up at her._

**Lena:** I belong with you to Stef and I couldn't imagine my life without you.

**I´m ready to jump, I´m never going under**  
><strong>I need you I can´t wait any longer ooh oh<strong>  
><strong>I´m so oh in love. <strong>

**Incapable of failing, I know that we will last,**  
><strong>taking every risk come taking every chance <strong>  
><strong>ooh oh I´m so oh in <strong>

**la la la la love.**

Hearing Lena say those words made every worry or anxiety I had disappear right now nothing could be more perfect then this moment.

**We´re meant to be together **

**la la la la love. **

**I´m so oh in love. **

****

Song Credit: So In Love by Kari Kimmel


	5. Feels Like Home

******PLEASE NOTE*******

**This Chapter is Rated M**

**Somethin' in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself**  
><strong>Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms<strong>  
><strong>There's somethin' in your voice, makes my heart beat fast<strong>  
><strong>Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life<strong>

_It has been 1 year since Stef and I got together and boy what a year it has been. Stef and Mike's divorce was a long process but it is finally done. Stef and I just bought a house together and we were finally moving in. My parents adore Stef and Brandon my mom especially is excited to have a grandson that she can spoil rotten. Stef's mom has been great helping us with the move. Her dad is coming around a bit to the idea that Stef and I together which makes me happy to see as I know family is important to Stef. We have finally started looking into being foster parents something that I have longed to do for sometime now. So pretty much right now life is great. Today is moving day and as I walk around my apartment making sure everything is all packed up there is a knock at my door, thinking Stef forgot her key I ran to the door and opened it to see Mike standing there._

**Lena:** Mike ah hi what are you doing here?

**Mike:** Hi I just wanted to come by and say...I mean nevermind I should go sorry to bother you

**Lena:** Mike I'm sorry what did you come here for?

**Mike:** I came because my sponsor said I needed to let go of my resentment towards you for ruining my family

**Lena:** Mike I didn't I'm sorry that this happened but Stef is gay and I didn't do that

**Mike:** No I know you didn't do that I just needed someone to blame

**Lena:** There is no one to blame Mike

**Mike:** No I know. Look I'm sorry I came by I realize it's moving day. Look I really hope you take care of her, she is an amazing woman and she deserves to be happy

**Lena:** I know and I intend to spend every day of my life making sure she's happy and Brandon I love him he is such an amazing little boy and I am so blessed to be apart of his life. I hope that the three of us can be great parents to him and be there for him.

**Mike:** Ya me to. Goodbye Lena

**If you knew how lonely my life has been**  
><strong>And how long I've been so alone<strong>  
><strong>And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along<strong>  
><strong>And change my life the way you've done<strong>

I watch as Mike walks down the hall and quietly shut my door thinking how well that had actually gone. Mike and I haven't really talked much in the last year except for fighting over what is right for Stef and Brandon. I am glad to see that he is slowly coming to terms and accepting me in Stef and Brandon's life. I smile as I hear the moving truck pulling up and see Stef walk through my door.

**Stef:** Was that Mike I just saw leave?

**Lena:** Ya

**Stef:** What did he want?

**Lena:** To make sure that I take good care of you

**Stef:** Really and what did you tell him (Flashing her a smirk as my arms wrap around her)

**Lena:** I told him that I will spend every day for the rest of my life making sure that you are happy

**Stef:** Happy Anniversary Love. I love you

**Lena:** Happy Anniversary Babe I love you to

Leaning in I feel Lena's lips capture mine and I think to myself how lucky I am to have found her and how lucky I am to begin my life with the most amazing woman I have ever known. As we were standing there wrapped in each others arms kissing each other as if we were never going to see each other again we are interrupted

**Dana:** Well I am all for you lovely ladies expressing your love for one another, but wouldn't you say now isn't the best time seeing as the movers are here ready to go.

**Lena:** Right

**Stef:** Ready Love?

**Lena:** Absolutely lets go Babe

**It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me**  
><strong>It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from<strong>  
><strong>It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me<strong>  
><strong>It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong<strong>

After the last box was brought into the house I looked over at Lena and smiled we were finally starting out life together and the last box entered our home and finally we were merging our two lives together. As we stand in our new kitchen looking around at her parents and my mom standing there and hearing Brandon running around the kitchen I realized this was home. This is Where we belong here in our new house with our family. I smile and walk over to Lena wrapping my arms around her and kissing her forehead.

**Lena:** We're home

**Stef** (smiling at Lena) We're home

**Sharon:** So ladies it's your anniversary any plans for tonight?

**Lena:** Nothing I think we are just going to enjoy our first night at home and start unpacking.

**Dana:** Nonsense you guys have to celebrate

**Stef:** Well actually I have planned something

**Lena:** You did?

**Stef:** You seriously didn't think that I would let our first anniversary go without celebrating?

**Dana:** Well on that note I think we should get going

**Sharon: **I agree

Stuart just nodded and smiled at all the ladies in the room. He knew what Stef had planned and smiled in appreciation at Stef, he was so thrilled that Lena had finally met someone that loved her unconditionally and would do anything to make her happy.

**Stuart:** Goodbye my darlings (Giving both ladies hugs and a kiss on the cheek) Enjoy your evening.

**Lena:** Bye guys thanks for all your help today.

**Stef:** Yes thank you all so much. We will talk to you tomorrow.

**Lena:** What about Brandon?

**Stef:** That is also taken care of. But for now why don't you go upstairs and get yourself changed

**Lena:** Alright (kissing Stef on the cheek I head upstairs) What should I wear?

**Stef:** Something comfortable and sexy (I said winking at her)

**Brandon:** Mommy I am going to stay with daddy tonight

**Mike** walks in: Yes you are Hey little man ready to go?

**Brandon:** Yes by mom (as he runs over to Stef and give her a big hug) Love you

**Stef:** I love you

**Brandon:** Hey wait dad I need to go say bye to mama

**Stef:** mama?

**Brandon:** Ya Lena's my mama now to right?

**Mike:** She most definitely is

I smile at Mike and mouth thank you to him for that, I know this last year has been incredibly hard on him not only accepting that our marriage was over but that I was gay and in a relationship with a woman. And for him to accept Lena in mine and Brandon's life made my heart swell.

**Brandon:** mama mama where are you?

**Lena:** Hey bud I think your mama is downstairs

**Brandon:** No my mommy is downstairs. I was looking for you mama

_I swear my heart stopped beating for a second when I heard him call me mama that was the first time he has ever called me mama and I never imagined he ever would or how completely happy that would make me feel. I couldn't help but let a tear fall from my eye as I reach down and hug Brandon tightly in my arms._

**Brandon:** Why are you crying mama?

**Lena:** I am just so happy. I love you so much Brandon

**Brandon:** I love you to mama. I am going to dad's for the night see you tomorrow

_As quickly as he came he was gone. I stood up to see Stef standing down the hall smiling at me while I wiped the tears away_

**Lena:** He called me mama

**Stef:** ya he did and you are

**Lena:** I love you and Brandon so much

**Stef:** I love you and so does Brandon.

**Lena:** So what is the plan for tonight?

Wrapping my arms around her and pulling her close

**Stef:** You, me some wine and food and some other stuff

**Lena:** That sounds perfect, think we could start with the other stuff?

**Stef:** I think that can be arranged

**A window breaks, down a long, dark street**  
><strong>And a siren wails in the night<strong>  
><strong>But I'm alright, 'cause I have you here with me<strong>  
><strong>And I can almost see, through the dark there is light<strong>

Taking Lena's hand I guide her into our new bedroom, thank god for her dad setting up our new bed, I plan to break the bed in tonight. I lead her to our bed and stand before her brushing my lips softly against hers while my hands slowly glide up her sides guiding her hands up over her head and then glide them back down to the hem of her shirt. I pull back and smile slightly at her seeing her eyes smoldering with desire I pull her shirt up over her head. Within seconds of her shirt falling to the floor Lena is attacking my mouth with hers pressing her lips hard against mine sliding her tongue across my lips waiting for access, moaning as if demanding I give her access once my lips part her tongue begins it's assault on mine. I can't help but moan loader into the kiss feeling the desire building up inside me, I think my Lena is getting impatient with my slowness and has decided to take matters into her own hands, god I love when she takes charge. My mind starts swirling and I can barely even think clearly and the next thing I know my shirt has found its way to the floor with hers along with my bra and hers. She works so quickly when she takes charge and before I know it we have fallen onto the bed rolling around panting and moaning as hands explore each other. Finally I have Lena underneath me gaining control back my hands explore her body and I run sloppy sweet kisses down her neck until they find one of her nipples, I swirl my tongue around the one while massaging her other breast, Hearing her moan and her breathing getting more rapid I know that I know that she has finally surrendered control. My mouth continues it's descend down her body to the top of her jeans undoing her pants I slowly slide them down along with her black lacy thong. Standing over her I look at how amazingly beautiful she is lying there in such arousal.

**Lena:** Stef if you don't get back down here soon I swear to god

_Before I finish my sentence Stef is pulling her pants off and crawling back on top of me then I feel her naked body pressed up on top of me me I press my lips against hers as I feel her hands roaming all over my body my arousal was kicked in top notch now. I flip her over and I hear a loud moan escape Stef's mouth smiling confidently to myself I continue my descent down her body. I slowly flick her clit with my tongue causing her to moan out my name really loudly LENA, I'm so thankful we have our own home now as I know my lover beneath me can scream really loud when she wants to and I love it when I hear her screaming my name over and over again and I plan on hearing it repeatedly tonight. I continue sliding and swirling my tongue around her clit before gliding it along her wet slit tasting her I can feel her body shudder as I continue my assault with my tongue swirling and sucking gently. I feel her hands in my hair as she starts panting louder and louder and then I hear it._

**Stef:** LENA please oh god LENA

_I know what she wants and I smile as I slide my way back up her body kissing her while I slip two fingers into her and thrust a few times as she continues screaming my name, then three and with every thrust I can feel her body beneath me shaking in desire and looking in her eyes I can tell she's close and with a few more thrusts I feel her tense up and release screaming my name loudly and being that were in a new house her voice echos through the room. LENA. I fall on top of her kissing her one last time smiling proudly to myself knowing I just made love to my woman for the first time in our new house. _

**Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me  
>And how long I've waited for your touch<br>And if you knew how happy you are making me  
>I never thought that I'd love anyone so much<strong>

**After coming down from my high I smile at L**ena kissing her passionately before pulling back

**Stef:** Your turn love

I carefully roll her over so I am on top of her kissing her with everything I have wanting her to feel all the love I have for her in that kiss. I love making love to her and I love doing it slowly and taking my time, paying attention to every curve, sound, and touching all the right places to get her body to tremble beneath me. I slowly trail kisses down her neck and up to her ear and ever so slightly whisper in her eye

**Stef:** I love you

**Lena:** I love you to babe

I continue feathering kisses down her neck stopping at one nipple and rolling my tongue around it alternating between that and sucking gently, going back and forth from breast to breast, while my hand slides down her body causing her to tremble slightly. My hand finds her clit and I gently massage it feeling her tremble even more building her up before I slide down her body, running my hands up and down between her lips I can feel how wet she already is and I love knowing that I do that to her. I slide 2 fingers into her pumping in and out hearing her breathing becoming more rapid and the moans escaping from her mouth. I tease her a bit before pulling my fingers hearing her beg for more.

**Lena:** Stef don't stop...oh god Stef I need you now please

I know what she is needing but I am needing to taste her so I slide my tongue and swirl it around while continuing to play with her clit. Her hands find my hair and I feel her grasping ever so gently to my hair as she starts to scream my name over and over again. I love how she doesn't realize how loud she gets and how she loves to tease me for how loud I can be. Her voice and screams echo throughout the room and I am so grateful my son isn't here because right now that is the only thing I want to hear is her screaming my name. I remove my tongue and quickly thrust three fingers into her and continue going harder and faster.

**Lena:** STEF OH GOD STEF OH MY GOD STEFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

That was the last thing I heard before I felt her orgasm reach its peak and she trembles. Once she comes down from her high I glide my body up hers and capture her lips in mine tongues dancing together and bodies melting into one. I hold her in my arms smiling at how happy I am to finally be with the love of my life.

**Stef:** God I love you

**Lena:** I love you to. I can't believe this is our house

**Stef:** Me either love and I am so happy that we are finally here

**Lena:** Me to

_Finally after an hour of lying in bed exchanging kisses and just holding each other close. I remember I bought Stef a gift for our first anniversary. I give her one more quick kiss before pulling myself out of her arms._

**Stef:** Where are you going?

**Lena:** I forgot I got you something for our anniversary

**Stef:** Love I thought we said the house and moving in together was our gifts

**Lena:** It is but I had to get you this

_Walking back to the bed I smile as I hold a neatly wrapped box and hand it to her. Watching her open it._

She hands me this beautifully wrapped box and when I open it my eyes started watering it was a beautiful necklace with a single diamond in it.

**Stef:** Love it's beautiful I love it

**Lena:** Good let me put it on you

**Stef:** Thank you love

I give her a long and lingering kiss then I pulled away and smiled at with my one hand on her cheek.

**Stef:** Well I have something for you it isn't as beautiful as this but I think you will be happy.

_I look at Stef raising an eyebrow at her and see her laugh at me as I know what she's thinking there's the Lena look. She grabs something out of her purse it was an envelope and hands it to me._

**Lena:** What's this

**Stef:** Open it

_I open up the envelope and read the letter and I feel the tears build up._

**Lena:** How? Is this for real?

**Stef:** Yes I phoned Bill and harassed him enough that he finally got our application approved. We are officially approved to be foster parents.

**Lena:** Oh my god this is the best gift ever.

**Stef: **So how about we get dressed and head downstairs and have some of that food and wine and then maybe some more of the other stuff?

**Lena:** That sounds perfect.

_I start to get up and I feel Stef pull me back _

**Stef:** Lena Happy Anniversary I can't wait until our next one

**Lena:** Happy Anniversary I can't wait to spend many more with you. Now lets go eat I am starving.

I let out a laugh and smile at how lucky I am to be here with her right now. I feel like the luckiest woman alive right now.

**Stef:** Alright love lets go

**It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me**  
><strong>It feels like I'm all the way the back where I come from<strong>  
><strong>It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me<strong>  
><strong>It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong<strong>  
><strong>It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong<strong>


	6. Birthday Weekend (All I need is You)

Sorry for the longer wait for an update things have just been crazy hectic here for me the last few days. But here it is finally the next update :) Thanks so much for the reviews I am so loving this show and love Stef and Lena :)

******PLEASE NOTE*******

Chapter Rated M yet again

**I don't need a lot of things,**  
><strong>I can get by with nothing<strong>  
><strong>Of all the blessings life can bring,<strong>  
><strong>I've always needed something<strong>  
><strong>But I've got all I want<strong>  
><strong>When it comes to loving you<strong>  
><strong>You're my only reason,<strong>  
><strong>You're my only truth<strong>

It's been 9 months since we moved in together and things have been going great. The house is all set up and organized the way we want. Lena and Brandon are getting closer by the day. We still haven't fostered any children yet but we are almost ready to do that, we have the 2 spare bedrooms almost completed and ready to go for 2 special children. But this weekend is Lena's birthday and I have decided to take her away for a few days. I have everything planned out I got Lena's boss to give her tomorrow and Monday off, I am going to leave work early Thursday and take Brandon to my dad for the night, pack the car up and off we will go to Vegas.

**Stef:** Alright I'm off see you all Tuesday

**Mike:** Have a good time

**Stef:** Thanks Mike, and thanks for taking Brandon

**Mike:** Anytime he is my son. Just go enjoy your getaway

**Stef:** I intend to

I couldn't get out of the station fast enough, and head to the school to pick up Brandon, upon arrival I see my beautiful partner standing outside seeing some kids off and talking to parents. When she spots me she smiles and starts heading my way, kissing me softly on the cheek.

**Lena:** Hey Babe what are you doing here?

**Stef:** Hi Love, I came to get Brandon

**Lena:** Oh is there something wrong? I usually bring him home with me

**Stef:** No everything is great. Just thought I would pick him up today

**Lena:** Wait why are you off work?

**Stef:** Slow day today. (kissing her again on the cheek I look back and smile)

**Brandon:** Mom what are you doing here?

**Stef:** I am here to pick you up

**Brandon:** OH Right I forgot

**Lena:** Forgot? I thought you got off early and decided to come pick him up?

**Stef:** Uhm ya I did no I uhm...let's go B get in the car. (I kiss Lena quickly) I really gotta go Love I will see you at home. I love you

**Lena:** I love you to

**I need you like water**  
><strong>Like breath, like rain<strong>  
><strong>I need you like mercy<strong>  
><strong>From Heaven's gate<strong>  
><strong>There's a freedom in your arms<strong>  
><strong>That carries me through<strong>  
><strong>I need you<strong>

_I watch Stef run off with Brandon quickly and I am left confused, she is hiding something from me and we never keep things from each other. I don't know if I should be mad or worried and now I am even more confused. I need to get home as soon as I can so I run to my office _

**Brandon:** Sorry mom I forgot

**Stef:** It's okay bud no big deal. Let's take you to grandpa's

**Brandon:** Ok I really am sorry I know you wanted to surprise mama

**Stef:** Oh B don't worry about it, mama is still going to be surprised I promise

**Brandon:** Promise?

**Stef:** Promise

**You're the hope that moves me**  
><strong>To courage again<strong>  
><strong>You're the love that rescues me<strong>  
><strong>When the cold winds rage<strong>  
><strong>And it's so amazing<strong>  
><strong>'Cause that's just how you are<strong>  
><strong>And I can't turn back now<strong>  
><strong>'Cause you've brought me too far<strong>

_I get home and see Stef's car isn't in the drive way and I start to panic wondering where she could be. When I walk into the house I see two suitcases sitting by the door and my heart starts to break. Is she leaving me? I feel my eyes burning and my heart breaking into a million pieces could the love of my life really be leaving me. I fall to my knees and feel my body start to shake as the tears start to fall, I didn't even here her come in and it isn't until her arms are wrapped around me._

**Stef:** Love please don't cry

**Lena:** Are you leaving me Stef?

**Stef:** Oh god no absolutely not never Love.

My heart breaks seeing Lena falling apart when I walk into the house, she wasn't supposed to be home for at least another hour. I knew I should have packed the suitcases into the car first.

**Lena:** Then what is this? Why the suitcases? Stef please tell me what's going on? Please because your keeping something from me and I can't bare the thought of you leaving me.

I wrap my arms around her again tighter this time kissing her deeply gliding my tongue across her lips begging for access, once it is received our tongues meet and dance together, I pull her even closer to me until we both lose our balance and fall over still holding onto each other.

**Stef:** Love those suitcases are for us

**Lena:** Us?

**Stef:** Yes as in you and me. We are going to Vegas for the weekend

**Lena:** What? But how?

**Stef:** Well I got you tomorrow and Monday off, took those days off for myself and I thought we could go get away for the weekend and celebrate your birthday. You weren't supposed to be home for another hour and I thought I would have time to come home and get the suitcases into the car before you got home. I wanted to surprise you my love.

**Lena:** Really?

**Stef:** Of course Love, last year things were so crazy with the divorce and house shopping we didn't really celebrate. Not to mention the last 9 months we have been getting settled into the house and preparing for foster kids and I figure now is the perfect time to go before we get foster kids and it's your birthday.

**Lena:** Thank god when you picked up Brandon things were weird and when I came home and saw the suitcases my mind went all crazy.

**Stef:** Lena I love you and Brandon more then anything in the world. We are a family and my life would not be the same without you in it. Your my everything, you are everything I have wished for and waited for my whole life. My soul mate and partner for life, I am not going anywhere unless your coming with me. You complete me Lena and your my other half and without you I would be lost and all these years I have wandered the world missing you and now that I have you I never want to feel alone again.

_I love seeing this vulnerable side to Stef, It takes a lot sometimes to get her to open up and be completely vulnerable. I always appreciate it when she lets me in a little more each day. But today this was the most I have ever heard from her and my heart was so filled with joy I didn't even know what to say._

**Lena:** I love you Stefanie Marie Foster and you are everything to me as well. (Leaning towards her I brush my lips gently against hers and kiss her soft and tenderly letting her feel my love for her, when I pull back I look at her smiling at me)

Stef: So what do you say should we go?

**Lena:** Absolutely lets go.

**I need you like water**  
><strong>Like breath, like rain<strong>  
><strong>I need you like mercy<strong>  
><strong>From Heaven's gate<strong>  
><strong>There's a freedom in your arms<strong>  
><strong>That carries me through<strong>  
><strong>I need you<strong>

We start our drive and I feel her hand on leg singing to music and having a total blast enjoying the start to our weekend. We are about 15 minutes outside of Barstow when I notice something isn't right with the car. Lena senses it as well and tells me to pull over in Barstow. But it's getting late I worry nothing will be open.

**Stef:** Dammit

**Lena:** Stef it's fine look there's a garage right there lets pull into it

We pull into the garage but they are getting ready to close. They said they could take a look at it in the morning, I sigh this is not what I had in mind. Looking around us we see a motel across the street, grabbing our bags we head over and check ourselves in for the night, once getting to our room we are utterly disappointed at the state of the room and the first thing I notice is a cockroach this is just great I thought to myself so not the romantic and luxurious place to have ended up.

**Stef:** I'm sorry Love this isn't what I had a planned for your birthday. I wanted you to wake up in a gorgeous suite in the most amazing bed wrapped in my arms and now we are here in this dump

**Lena:** Babe I don't care where we are as long as I am with you. We could be here, home, in Vegas or in our car and I wouldn't care as long as we are together and I wake up in your arms I am good.

**Stef:** You really are amazing you know that

**Lena:** I really am aren't I

**Stef:** Why don't we see what we can get to eat around here. (Holding out my hand for her)

_After all is said and done we managed to get some greasy cheeseburgers from the little diner down the street and a $2 bottle of Prosecco from the gas station and headed back to our room. I look at Stef and realize she is still upset over not making it to Vegas, I wish she would see I really don't care where we are as long as we are together. I wish she would see it is her that matters to me not what or where we are just her._

**Stef:** What are you thinking Lena?

Lena: About how lucky I am

**Stef:** Lucky look where we are spending your birthday

**Lena:** Stef I don't care where we are. You are what matters to me only you. You and me and our greasy cheeseburgers and Prosecco this so far has been the best birthday ever because I am with you. And tomorrow I know I am going to wake up on my birthday in the arms of the woman I love. A woman who loves me and has gone to all this trouble to make my birthday extra special and yet she doesn't see that she is the one that makes it extra special.

Looking at Lena I realize she is right, who cares where we are as long as we are together nothing else matters. I smile at her and take her hands in mine and lean in kissing her on the cheek.

**Stef:** Your right love I'm sorry I guess I forgot what really matters is us being together. I just wanted everything to be perfect and show you how much I love you. I just want you to know that you mean everything to me and I want to give you the world.

**Lena:** I love you Stef, and I love how much trouble you went through to make sure I have a special birthday. I just wanted you to see that since you've come into my life your what makes my birthday special, you make every day special for me just for being you.

Stef: God I love you Lena

**Lena:** Good how about you show me just how much

**Stef:** I can definitely do that

**I need you like water**  
><strong>Like breath, like rain<strong>  
><strong>I need you like mercy<strong>  
><strong>From Heaven's gate<strong>  
><strong>There's a freedom in your arms<strong>  
><strong>That carries me through<strong>  
><strong>I need you<strong>

Grabbing Lena and pulling her closer to me I smile looking deeply into her eyes before I brush my lips against hers my hands start roaming her body. God I love this woman so much she couldn't possibly understand just how much and now I am going to show her. My hand goes to her shirt right away and I can't wait to get it off, I want to feel her body against mine, skin on skin and make love to her all night long. Finally her shirt is discarded and thrown somewhere in room as she quickly fumbles to take my clothes off the next thing I know we make our way towards the bed we both fall onto it. Me falling right on top of her.

**Stef:** Sorry love I just can't get you undressed fast enough

_I laugh at Stef I love when she gets like this, so full of love and vulnerable. It's like she loses all sense of her thoughts and is just going purely on emotions and these are the moments I treasure the most. Seeing the love of my life vulnerable and completely open to me giving herself to me. I feel her hands roaming down my neck followed by kisses and I finally let myself go as I want to feel everything and I want her to feel everything. I feel her tongue swirl around my nipple and jump at the tiny little bite she gives me while massaging my other nipple with the tips of her fingers. I feel her hot breath move up to my neck softly sucking and licking while her hand roams down to unbutton my jeans. I whimper slightly when I feel her move off of me I look at her smiling down at me and see the arousal in her eyes as she is staring down at me. The next thing I know my pants have been discarded and flown across the room. I laugh slightly at her eagerness and then shocked as she ripped my panties right off._

**Lena:** Hey those were my fav...

I hear Lena's voice after I ripped her panties off but before she can finish her sentence my mouth had found it's destination. My tongue swirling around her tasting her wet juices and my one finger found her clit and started circling around it. That is when I heard her moan loudly and could feel her body trembling beneath me. Her hands clutching the sheets as she is trying to keep herself from letting go. I know her orgasm is building and I know it won't be long now.

**Stef:** Let go love just let go

I thrust three fingers into her while my tongue flicks her clit and that is when I feel her let go and her body release as she is screaming my name over and over STEF STEF STEF OH GOD STEF...With a few final thrusts into her she finally let go and I felt her explode as I pull my hand out replacing my mouth there tasting her as she cums into my mouth. I slide my body up along hers taking her in my arms kissing her passionately with everything that I have to give.

_Finally after coming down from my high I roll Stef over. Just so badly wanting to make love to her now I want her to feel how much I love her. My assault begins on her mouth and trailing kisses all the way down her body stopping at her breasts I suck and kiss each breast before sliding further down stopping before I reach my final destination. I glide my tongue along her wet slit surprised at how wet she already was feeling her body tremble beneath me and the soft moans escaping her mouth, hearing her beg for me. LENA OH PLEASE LENA I NEED YOU NOW...LENA she screams as my name as soon as I thrust three fingers into her. I know Stef and I know it won't take long before she is thrashing underneath me screaming my name over and over again. Sure enough she is already there as my fingers continue to work their magic I slide myself up along her body wrapping my other arm around her kissing her passionately and aggressively feeling her hands wrap themselves around my body until she finally releases screaming my name one last time.. LENA OH MY GOD LOVE...after she comes down from her high we lay together wrapped in each others arms. I feel her hand running through my hair softly kissing my forehead over and over again something that has become habit and I love it just those simple things makes me feel like she loves me. _

**Stef:** Happy Birthday Love

**Lena:** But my birthday is tomorrow

**Stef:** It is after 12 so it is officially your birthday

**Lena:** Thank you babe so far this has been the best birthday ever

I smile hearing her say that, it may not be what I had planned but just being here together is all we both need. Holding her close I start to kiss her again and pull back to see her raise her eye brow.

**Lena:** Again? Already?

**Stef:** I want to make love to you all night well until we absolutely physically can't.

I laugh as I hear what she says and the last thing I remember is hearing her say I love you.

**I need you like water**  
><strong>Like breath, like rain<strong>  
><strong>I need you like mercy<strong>  
><strong>From Heaven's gate<strong>  
><strong>There's a freedom in your arms<strong>  
><strong>That carries me through<strong>  
><strong>I need you<strong>

Song Credit: I need You by LeAnn Rimes


	7. Bringing Home the Twins

**If you're feeling down or weak**  
><strong>You can always count on me<strong>  
><strong>I will always pick you up<strong>  
><strong>Nothing's ever gonna change<strong>  
><strong>Nothing's gettin' in my way <strong>  
><strong>I will always hold you up <strong>

It has been a long day as I walk into the station hoping to finish up my shift soon and get home to my family. As I walk in I notice 2 young kids sitting on a bench. Looking back at them I ask one of the guys what they were in for.

**Stef:** What are they in for?

**Officer:** Armed robbery

(Laughing)

**Stef:** No Seriously

**Officer:** Their foster parents dropped them off said they couldn't take care of them anymore. We're waiting for CPS to come get them

I looks over at kids and sigh reaching into my desk grabs 2 lollipops I walk towards them wondering how anybody could do that to these kids. To any kids it is bad enough that they aren't with their own parents and now their foster parents didn't want them either. It broke my heart wondering what they have been through. Lena and I have been fostering kids off and on for awhile now and I couldn't imagine just dropping off any of those kids at the police station and leaving them there.

**Stef:** Hey guys my names Stef what's yours?

**Jesus:** I'm Jesus and this is my sister Marianna

**Stef:** Jesus and Marianna ahhhh...you brother and sister? Or is this your wife?

Jesus smiles with a slight chuckle while Marianna smiles causing me to laugh

**Stef:** Well I'm sure you guys probably don't like candy but I just I don't know just incase (I hold up 2 lollipops in front of them)

Jesus takes one from me while I look over at Marianna and then back at Jesus, I watch closely as he takes Marianna's looking at her and he hands it to her and she smiles at me. As I am kneeling in front of them staring at them my heart melts and I know what I need to do.

**Anything **  
><strong>Come what may<strong>  
><strong>Don't look back forget yesterday<strong>  
><strong>Forget yesterday <strong>

**Stef: **I will be right back okay?

**Jesus:** Ok

I turn walking back to my desk and grab the phone and phone Bill.

**Bill:** Hey Stef what's going on?

**Stef:** I have 2 kids sitting her in the police station that were left here by their foster parents. I know that one of the officers called your office already but they have been here for hours.

**Bill:** I will be right there and I will look into it. Do you know there names?

**Stef:** Jesus and Marianna.

**Bill:** Okay I am on my way.

**Stef:** Thanks

I look back over seeing the kids smiling while enjoying their lollipops. I grab my cell phone and call Lena, there is no way they can just go back to any foster home. They need a safe and happy place to be.

**It's not where you come from**  
><strong>It's where you belong<strong>  
><strong>Nothin' I would trade<strong>  
><strong>I wouldn't have it any other way <strong>  
><strong>You're surrounded<strong>  
><strong>By love and you're wanted<strong>  
><strong>So never feel alone<strong>  
><strong>You are home with me<strong>  
><strong>Right where you belong<strong>

**Lena:** Hey babe what's up?

**Stef:** You need to come to the station.

**Lena:** Everything okay?

**Stef:** Some assholes dropped off their foster kids and left them here at the station. I need you to come down here, they are the sweetest looking kids and I just

**Lena:** You want to bring them home?

**Stef:** Yes I called Bill to come down. Please come here

**Lena:** On my way

I walk back over to the kids and ask if they want to come over to my desk and colour. Of course both their eyes lit up as Jesus takes my hand and Marianna takes his. She is so afraid to trust and that broke my heart. I sat them at my desk handing them some paper and crayons and let them colour.

**I know sometimes you're feeling lost**  
><strong>It's hard to find your place in it all<strong>  
><strong>But you don't have to fear<strong>  
><strong>Even when you mess up<strong>  
><strong>You always got my love<strong>  
><strong>I'm always right here <strong>  
><strong>Oh, cause <strong>

_I know when Stef called asking me to come to the station there was something up. I could tell by the sound of her voice that she was upset and angry. I rush to the station and when I walk in, I see Stef sitting at her desk with 2 kids beside her colouring. It melts my heart seeing her with kids, she is such a softy as much as she tries to remain tough all the time she is soft and mushy on the inside._

**Lena:** Hey babe (I walk over and kiss her on the cheek)

**Stef:** Hey Love...Hey Jesus and Marianna I want you to meet someone. This is Lena

**Lena:** Hi Jesus, Hi Marianna

**Jesus:** Hi

_I see Jesus clutching Stef's hand and I instantly see why she was wanting to bring them home. I see Marianna hiding behind her brother. I kneel down at their level and hold my hand out to Marianna._

**Lena:** Hi Marianna my name is Lena. I love your long hair, I've always wanted to have long straight hair like you.

_I see Marianna smile as she comes out from behind her brother and smiles at me._

**Lena:** Well that is the most beautiful smile I think I have ever seen

I watch as Lena interacts with the kids and see that she is making progress with Marianna and I smile down at her thinking how amazing she is with kids.

**Marianna:** Thank you

**Lena:** Your welcome. You look like you could use a hug. Can I give you a hug?

_Next thing I know Marianna is jumping into my arms hugging me. I wrap my arms tightly around her and hug her back rubbing her back. I place a soft kiss on the side of her head as I feel her relax in my arms. Finally she lets go and I smile at her and Jesus. _

**Lena:** Why don't you guys go finish colouring your pictures so I can talk to Stef here.

**Stef:** Now do you see what I mean

**Lena:** Yes. Lets bring them home

**Bill:** Hey Stef, Lena I wasn't expecting you here

**Stef:** Bill we want to bring Jesus and Marianna home with us

**Bill:** Why doesn't that surprise me. It is a good thing I brought their file with me.

**Lena:** What do you know about them?

**Bill:** Jesus and Marianna Gutierrez 7 year old Twins. Mothers name is Ana Gutierrez, father unknown. Looks like they were placed in foster care because their mother is a drug addict and left them to run off with some man. Been in 3 different foster homes, the last home seemed like a good fit but were not sure what happened and why they would drop them off here and that is something we are looking into.

**Stef:** That is crazy how could any mother

**Bill:** I know it is sad they are just needing someone to love them

**Lena:** That is something we can do

**Stef:** Absolutely.

**Bill:** Well I was hoping you would say that as I really don't have anywhere to put them together. We really don't want to see them split up.

**Stef:** Absolutely not happening

**Bill:** Well I can bring them by this evening if that works. I have to take them to the office and get some official paper work drawn up but I am pretty sure your home will be a perfect fit for them.

**Lena:** That's great it will give us time to talk to Brandon

**Bill:** Jesus, Marianna

**Anything**  
><strong>Come what may<strong>  
><strong>Don't look back forget yesterday <strong>  
><strong>Forget yesterday (ay)<strong>

_I look over and see the kids jump and run to hide behind Stef and myself. _

**Stef:** Hey guys how would you like to come and stay with us at our house?

**Marianna:** Really?

**Lena:** Yes really

**Jesus:** I want to

**Stef:** Good cause we want you guys to. But first we need you to go with Bill here and he will bring you to our house in a little while okay

**Marianna:** Promise

**Lena:** Promise

**Jesus:** Okay we will go right Marianna

**Marianna:** okay

I take Lena's hand in mine as we watch the twins go with Bill when they look back we both wave and smile at them. I turn and look at Lena and we both nod knowing we are making the right decision.

**It's not where you come from**  
><strong>It's where you belong<strong>  
><strong>Nothin' I would trade<strong>  
><strong>I wouldn't have it any other way <strong>  
><strong>You're surrounded<strong>  
><strong>By love and you're wanted<strong>  
><strong>So never feel alone<strong>  
><strong>You are home with me<strong>  
><strong>Right where you belong<strong>

**Lena: **Well why don't you grab you finish up your stuff and I will go grab Brandon from piano and we will meet you at home?

**Stef:** Sounds great.

_I give Stef a quick kiss and start to walk away when I hear her voice._

Stef: Thank you love

**Lena:** See you at home. I love you

**Stef:** I love you

**Oooo Oooo (Oooo) ****_[x2]_**  
><strong>Don't matter where you've been<strong>  
><strong>Oooo Oooo (Oooo) <strong>**_[x2]_**  
><strong>You're here for a reason<strong>

**Oooo Oooo (Oooo) **  
><strong>Nooo<strong>

When I get home I hear Brandon and Lena in the kitchen making dinner. Knowing that we need to sit down and talk to Brandon before the twins get here. Bill called on my way home and said he would be here at 5 and it was now 4:45.

**Stef:** Hey I'm home

**Brandon:** Mom

**Stef:** Hey B how was school and piano?

**Brandon:** Good. So mom said you wanted to talk to me. Did I do something?

**Lena:** No honey you did nothing.

**Stef:** mama and I wanted to talk to you about how you would feel if we had some kids come stay with us

**Brandon:** You mean like before?

**Lena:** No we were thinking more like a longer time

**Brandon:** Cool who are they?

**Stef:** Well their names are Jesus and Marianna they are twins and 7 years old.

**Brandon:** What happened to their mom

**Lena:** Well sometimes Brandon some people don't know how to be moms

**Stef:** and Jesus and Marianna have no where to live or a family to love them

**Brandon:** That is sad. Well then they can come here I can share there's enough

**Lena:** We are glad to hear you say that because they will be here soon

**Brandon:** Cool I can't wait to meet them and play legos

I smile and laugh as I see Brandon run off to go and grab some toys. When the door bell rings I put my hand out for Lena's as we open the door to see Jesus and Marianna and Bill standing in front of us.

**Stef:** Hi Jesus, Marianna come in

**Lena:** Welcome home guys

**It's not where you come from**  
><strong>It's where you belong<strong>  
><strong>Nothin' I would trade<strong>  
><strong>I wouldn't have it any other way <strong>  
><strong>You're surrounded<strong>  
><strong>By love and you're wanted<strong>  
><strong>So never feel alone<strong>  
><strong>You are home with me<strong>  
><strong>Right where you belong<strong>


	8. Adoption Day

*****PLEASE NOTE*****

First part of this chapter is rated M the rest is fine :)

**I swear to you - I will always be there for you - **  
><strong>there's nothin' I won't do <strong>  
><strong>I promise you - all my life I will live for you - we <strong>  
><strong>will make it through <strong>  
><strong>Forever - we will be <strong>  
><strong>Together - you and me <strong>

_Laying in bed I notice it is only 5am but I just couldn't sleep. Today is the day we finalize the adoption of Jesus and Marianna. I lie in bed listening to the quiet calm of the house next thing I notice is Stef stir beside me. I roll over and wrap my arms around her pulling her close. I can't believe how far we have come over the years. We went from being a family of 3 to a family of 5 and have to admit we got some pretty great kids, we've made some pretty great memories and to think I almost walked away from Stef because she was married. _

**Stef:** What are you doing awake Love?

**Lena:** I can't sleep just so excited that they are officially going to be our kids

I roll over and face Lena and I see the smile on her face, it's still almost unbelievable how far we have come. I went from being unhappily married to Mike, to now being with the most amazing woman in the world adopting Jesus and Marianna with her. I smile thinking how lucky I am to have her and my kids in my life. I love her and them more then I have ever loved anything else in my entire life.

**Stef:** I can't wait

**Lena:** Me either

**Stef:** But we still got a couple hours before we need to be up. Why don't we make use of the quiet time

_Raising my eyebrow I look at Stef and let out a slight laugh_: What did you have in mind?

_Stef kissing me softly as her had roams up my shirt she pulls back and winks at me. I smile and laugh knowing what she is wanting, what we are both needing. Lately we haven't had much time to ourselves with 3 kids keeping us busy with school, being sick, or bad dreams we haven't been able to be close for awhile. I forgot how much I missed being close with Stef until I felt her hands roam over my body._

**Lena:** God I miss this

**Stef:** Me to love

I continue kissing her tenderly until I couldn't breath anymore and had to pull away. Staring intently into her eyes, I can see love and happiness and fell in love with her even more which I didn't think was possible. I feel my body yearning for hers, needing to feel her body as close to mine as possible. I trail kisses down her neck alternating from soft sucks and kisses to ensure I don't leave any marks. I feel her moan with each kiss, I love her voice and how sultry it sounds while I am doing that. I roll on top off her sitting up straddling her as I pull my shirt over my head and toss it to the side, pulling her up towards me I gently remove her shirt and stare at her perfectly round and perky breasts something that I have always admired since she hasn't had a baby she didn't get the slight sag that mine have. I take her and pull her close so our bodies are as close as they possibly can be. I am breathing heavier now full of desire, need and lust, wanting to feel every aspect of her. Our tongues meet once more and I swear my heart skipped a beat, I could feel the out pour of love coming from her in that kiss. She needs me just as much as her and that has never been more sexier to me. Her hands are holding me tighter and I swear if she squeezes me tighter I won't be able to breathe anymore. Her hands were the softest hands I have ever felt and she was sending shivers down my spine as they roamed my back. She clutched a handful of my hair gently pulling it back to expose my neck and when I felt her lips on my neck I whimpered her name "Lena" her lips were amazing against my neck. I couldn't stand it anymore I had to have her, all of her I needed to make us whole again. I pushed her back down on the bed and I saw the look in her eyes she knew what I was needing and I couldn't wait anymore. I slide off her removing her pants and look down at the goddess before me wondering how I could have been so lucky to have her. Someone as beautiful as her with the most amazing body I have ever seen. Touching her once more to make sure she was really there, I felt a tear roll down my face, I hated when I did that. She sensed what was happening and reached up and wiped the tear away sitting up she captured my lips with hers holding my face.

**Oh n' when I hold ya - nothin' can compare  
>With all of my heart - ya know I'll always be - right<br>there **

**Lena:** I love you Stef

_I love seeing Stef emotional like this during our most intimate time together. I can feel her heart beating and see the love that she has for me written all over her face. I could tell that she was wondering to herself if this was real, even after all these years she still wonders if this is real. If I am real, if we are real, and to be honest I sometimes think the same thing. How lucky we are that we found the one person in this world that completes us and makes us whole, especially when I see some friends who struggle just to find someone to share their life with. Most people go their whole lives just looking for someone and never even find their soul mate and here I am lucky to have mine. I reach up and wipe the tear that was rolling down her face before capturing my lips with hers. Feeling so overwhelmed I can't help but tell her I love her. I roll her over sliding her pants off I run my hands up her legs kissing her thighs before I come to her wet slit and slide my tongue along her tasting her already wet juices, I flick her clit with my tongue and I know that she is ready to lose it by her whimper. I reach over grabbing the dildo from her bedside table and slide up along her body before placing it at her entry. _

**Stef:** No Lena not now. I need to feel you and only you.

I grab the dildo and put it aside and roll her over on her side. I look deeply into her eyes and run my hand along her feeling how wet she is already. We both enter two fingers into each other at the same time, curling mine ever so slightly to find the spot that makes her lose control and once I find it I continue to thrust into her while looking into her eyes refusing to break contact. I hear her call out my name "STEF" as I feel her thrusting into me and finally loose all control when she finds the spot that makes me tremble. We continue to make love to eachother moaning each others names and trembling until we both explode together. I feel her cum all over my hand as I did to her before pulling her close and kissing her once more holding her as close as possible, never wanting to let her go.

**I believe in us - nothin' else could ever mean so much  
>You're the one I trust our time has come - we're not two<br>people  
>Now - we are one - ya you're second to none<br>Forever - we will be  
>Together - a family <strong>

**Lena:** Stef that was

**Stef:** Amazing love. God I love you so much

**Lena:** I love you to babe

**Stef:** Well it appears it is time to get up. Want to join me in the shower?

**Lena:** Hmmmm I think that is a fantastic idea

_After our shower and another love making session, we are both getting dressed and my eyes can't leave Stef's and I know she senses it and turns to look at me._

**Stef:** See something you like?

**Lena:** Absolutely

I smile at my Love and capture her lips in a soft but quick kiss: As much as I would love to stay here in our room all day naked with you, we must get the kids up and go complete our family. Maybe we need a night to ourselves. My mom is coming to town next week maybe we could get away for a night?

**Lena:** That sounds perfect

**The more I get to know ya - nothin' can compare **  
><strong>With all of my heart - ya know I'll always be - right <strong>  
><strong>there <strong>

Once we are both dressed we head out of the room while Lena goes down to make the coffee I wake up the kids. First I wake up Brandon who got up and headed right downstairs for breakfast. Once I get to Jesus's room I wake him up and he jumps out of bed full of excitement.

**Jesus:** It's today It's today

**Stef:** It sure is my baby

**Jesus:** I can't wait mom

**Stef:** Neither can we. Why don't you go downstairs and see mama she will get you some breakfast and I will go wake up your sister and we will be down shortly.

**Jesus:** SOUNDS GREAT

I watch him bounce out of the room full of excitement and I am just so overjoyed to see how happy he is and how well adjusted the twins are since coming here. I head to Marianna's room and I can hear slight crying coming from in there, I knock before entering and see my little girl sitting on her bed crying.

**Stef:** Marianna baby what's wrong?

**Marianna:** I just I'm scared

**Stef:** Scared of what?

**Marianna:** Our mom didn't want us and our foster parents before you and mama didn't want us. What if you change your mind?

**Stef:** Oh Baby that would never happen. You want to know why?

I am now holding her hands in mine looking at her waiting for a response

**Marianna:** Why?

**Stef:** Because you and Jesus are apart of this family now, and you guys are mama and my kids. You guys are inside of our hearts and it doesn't matter where you came from because you belong here with mama and I. You two complete this family and make us whole. We are a family baby and we love you and your brothers more then anything in this entire world. So you will never be able to get rid of us now you young lady our stuck with us forever.

I look down at her and see her smiling before pulling her into my arms: We love you Marianna and don't you ever forget that.

**Marianna:** I love you too mom

**Stef:** Good now how about we go get some breakfast and get ready to go.

**Marianna:** Lets go.

Finally after an hour everybody is ready to go. As we stand in the entrance way I look around me and smile this is my family.

**Lena:** Ready to go babe? Everything okay?

**Stef:** Everything is great. Just thinking how lucky I am to have all of you. Now lets go make this official

**Forever - we will be **  
><strong>Together - just you and me<strong>  
><strong>The more I get to know ya - the more I really care <strong>  
><strong>With all of my heart - ya know I'll always be... <strong>  
><strong>Ya know I really love ya - ya nothin' can compare <strong>  
><strong>For all of my life - ya know I'll always be - right <strong>  
><strong>there<strong>

Song Credit: I'll Always Be Right There by Bryan Adams


	9. Declaration of Love

**I'm going through good and bad times**  
><strong>Working hard to live my dreams and I<strong>  
><strong>Don't know if it is the right way<strong>  
><strong>I changed my life in so many ways but<strong>

Today is Friday the day before Lena and I are going on our date night away from the kids for the night. My mom is in town and already at home. We are just finishing up our shift when we are called to a robbery in progress, so I flick on the lights and head that way. We catch the guy read handed and he takes off running. I start running after him as we turn down this alley the next thing I know I am being knocked to the ground and being kicked repeatedly in the ribs. Finally I hear the sirens for our car and see my partner standing over me.

**Stef:** Go after him

**Derek:** I have an officer down and need back up...I repeat an officer down. Stef are you okay?

**Stef:** I'm fine go after him

**Derek:** He is gone right now I need to make sure your okay

As I go to sit up I realize how I really am not fine. My head is pounding and I can barely breathe. I lie back down fighting through the pain waiting for the ambulance to come. It pisses me off that this happened today of all days. As I am loaded into the ambulance I look back and see Mike standing there.

**Mike:** Derek what the hell happened?

**Derek:** The guy ran out and Stef ran after him and when I got there she was on the ground and he was kicking her.

**Mike:** Stef it's going to be okay.

**Stef:** Mike call Lena

**Mike:** Don't worry I will call her

**Sometimes I wonder**  
><strong>If I had made it without<strong>

That was the last thing I heard when the ambulance doors were shut and off we were going to the hospital. I could feel the pain coursing through my body and still fighting the urge to cry. How could this of happened? Before today I never worried about my job I have been fortunate to never get hurt or to worry that I wouldn't see my family again. Today was different the only thing I could think of while I was down on the ground getting kicked over and over again is that if someone didn't get there soon he may kill me and I would never see Lena or my babies again. Finally a tear rolled down my cheek I couldn't keep it in any longer, I really just needed to see Lena and needed to hear her voice.

**Stef:** I need Lena

**Paramedic:** Officer Foster we are almost at the hospital and I'm sure that Lena will be there soon.

**The way you love me and support me**  
><strong>Makes me know we'll never part<strong>  
><strong>The way you touch me deep in my soul<strong>  
><strong>That's the reason you're in my heart<strong>

_I am starting dinner talking with Sharon as we were waiting for Stef to come home, surprised that she is later then normal. But maybe she stopped on her way home as tomorrow we are going away for the night for some quality one on one time. It isn't until my phone rings and I look and see Mike's name come up do I realize something is very wrong. My heart starts to beat so fast that I can barely breathe and my hands start trembling as I try to answer the phone but can't seem to get it to work. Sharon sensing something is wrong takes the phone and turns it on for me._

**Lena:** Mike what's wrong? Where's Stef?

**Mike:** Lena there's been an incident and Stef is okay but she is on the way to the hospital

**The way you need me like I need you**  
><strong>I'm sure we'll never part<strong>  
><strong>The way you feel me and make me smile<strong>  
><strong>That's the reason you're in my heart<strong>

_I drop the phone when I hear hospital and I start to frantically run through the house finding my purse, keys and my shoes. I didn't even notice the tears that were running down my face, or the kids asking me what was wrong. Stef is hurt something is wrong with her, what if she isn't okay. I couldn't bare the thought of losing her. Finally I am stopped when I feel Sharon pull me into a hug._

**Sharon:** Lena what's wrong

**Lena:** Stef accident hospital oh my god

**Sharon:** Lena stop calm down take a deep breath

**Lena:** I have to go to the hospital. Stef is being taken to the hospital.

_I grab my things and open the door to see Mike standing there._

**Mike:** I thought I would pick you up. I don't think you should drive

**Lena:** Thanks please take me to Stef

**In moments of fear and darkness**  
><strong>You covered me with light and hope<strong>  
><strong>And you have to let me know if there is<strong>  
><strong>Something I can do for you yes<strong>

_The ride to the hospital felt like it was an eternity, finally the tears stopped as we pull into the hospital. I don't even shut the car door as I run into the hospital._

**Lena:** I am looking for Stef Foster

**Nurse:** Stef Foster one second let me take a look

**Lena:** No I don't have a second I need to know where she is. She is the officer that was brought in by ambulance

Before the nurse says anything I hear a doctor: Lena Adams?

**Lena:** Yes where's my partner

**Doctor:** Your partner is in the trauma room right now getting looked at, on the way to the hospital she had some difficulty breathing and when she got here it looks as though a few of her ribs are broken. She is going to need a head CT as it appears that she has a gash from being knocked to the ground.

**Lena:** Oh my god

**Sometimes I wonder**  
><strong>If I had made it without<strong>

_I feel myself collapse and Mikes arms around me catching me. I am at a loss for words and shaking so badly and finding it harder and harder to breathe. _

**Mike:** Deep breaths Lena come on it's going to be okay

**Lena:** When...When...I...need...see...Stef

**Doctor:** You can see her once we she gets back from her head CT and we have finished checking her over.

**Mike:** Lena please you need to calm down

**Lena:** I...I...

**Mike:** Lena Stef needs you right now. She needs you to be strong for her. Okay

_Hearing Mike say that Stef needs me helped me start to calm down. His hands are on my face and he is looking into my eyes guiding me to breathe_.

**Lena:** Thanks Mike I'm sorry I'm just

**Mike:** I know me too

**Captain Roberts:** Lena Mike any word?

**Lena:** No we are still waiting

_I am standing there after what seemed like hours pacing back and forth when I finally see the doctor come out._

**Lena:** How is she? Can I see her?

**Doctor:** Well it appears she has three broken ribs but no damage to her lungs just going to be really sore for several weeks, she has a concussion that will need to be monitored so I would like to keep her in overnight for observation.

Lena: What about her breathing?

**Doctor:** Her breathing seems fine now, we are thinking she had a panic attack on the way here which caused the extra stress for breathing.

**Lena:** Can I see her?

**Doctor:** Yes we are going to be moving her upstairs into a room for the night. But please follow me.

**Lena:** Wait can our kids come see her?

**Doctor:** Once she is moved yes they can see her for right now just you.

**Lena:** Mike can you call Sharon

**Mike:** Already calling

**The way you love me and support me**  
><strong>Makes me know we'll never part<strong>  
><strong>The way you touch me deep in my soul<strong>  
><strong>That's the reason you're in my heart<strong>

_I follow the doctor to where Stef is and I see her lying in the bed. I run towards her._

**Stef:** Lena love I'm so sorry

**Lena:** Sorry what for?

**Stef:** I should have been more careful I should have

**Lena:** I don't care Stef all I care about is you being here and alive

I grab Stef's hand and lean over and kiss her softly on the lips. God it feels good to kiss her and hold her hand knowing she is alive.

**Stef:** How are my babies?

**Lena:** Worried but your mom is going to bring them by once you get moved into your room for the night

**Stef:** Good

I feel the tears well up again as I am holding onto Lena's hand. I can't believe that this has happened, I can see the worry in her eyes mixed with relief and in that moment I needed to tell her just how much I loved her as today could have been a lot worse and I don't ever want her to never know how much she means to me.

**Stef:** Lena I love you

**Lena:** I love you to

**Stef:** No Lena I really love you. Your my everything my lover, best friend, partner in crime and for life, my better half and the light in my life. The day I met you I knew instantly you were the person I am supposed to be with. The person that I want and need to spend the rest of my life with. You complete me in every way possible, before I met you something was always missing and now I feel whole. I just love you so much and all I could think of today was that you may never know how much I love and need you. You Lena mean the world to me and I have never loved someone so much that my heart aches when I'm not with you, your the reason that I'm here, well not here in this bed but my reason for existing. I love you so much. And I know that I can be a pain sometimes and I know that I am stubborn and I appreciate that your always there when I need you and I know I don't say enough how much I love you. Just please promise me you'll never leave me cause I couldn't bear to live in a without you in it. I love you Lena Elizabeth Adams.

_I am crying now at Stef's declaration. I always knew this is how she felt, how I felt but I have never heard all those words come out of her mouth._

**Lena:** You Stephanie Marie Foster are the most amazing woman I have ever met in my life and your my whole world. I couldn't imagine a life without you either. God I love you so much and I was so scared when Mike called I thought I lost you. So Stef your the one who has to promise to never leave me because I never want to feel that feeling again. I love you babe more then anything.

_I lean down and press my lips to Stef's we are interrupted by a clearing of a throat. I pull back and smile at her before turning to see the doctor standing there._

**The way you need me like I need you**  
><strong>I'm sure we'll never part<strong>  
><strong>The way you feel me and make me smile<strong>  
><strong>That's the reason you're in my heart<strong>

**Doctor:** Okay Mrs. Foster

**Stef:** Miss Foster

**Doctor:** Sorry Miss Foster we are going to move you up to the third floor for observation tonight

**Lena:** I will go get check and see when your mom and the kids are coming and meet you up there.

**Stef:** Okay

_I watch Stef be wheeled down the hall and turn and head back to the waiting room to see Mike, Captain Roberts, Sharon, Brandon and the Twins. _

**Brandon:** How is mom?

**Lena:** Mom is okay she is just a little sore and will be for a few weeks

**Jesus:** Can we see her

**Lena:** Absolutely she is getting moved to her room upstairs, she has to stay the night tonight cause she hit her head pretty hard

**Marianna:** Are you sure she's going to be okay?

**Lena:** Of course honey she is going to be okay and is coming home tomorrow. Lets go see mom

_Grabbing Marianna's hands and feeling Brandon's slip into my other we start walking together when I notice Jesus take ahold of Sharon's hand as we head up to the third floor. Once we reach Stef's room the kids run in needing to make sure their mom was okay._

**Stef:** Hi my babies

**Brandon:** mom I was so scared

**Stef:** Oh baby I promise I'm okay.

**Brandon:** Can I hug you mom?

**Stef:** Yes we just have to be careful.

I feel his arms wrap around my neck and I wrap mine around his holding him close: I love you B

**Brandon:** I love you to mom

I look over at Marianna and Jesus: Come here guys

They slowly walk over and I hug them both just like I did Brandon: I love you guys so much

**Marianna:** I love you to mom

**Jesus:** I love you mom

I look over at Lena and smile everything that mattered to me was in this room. I smile feeling so lucky that I am here right now with my kids surrounding me and my beautiful Lena. Life can't get any better then this.

**Sharon:** Hi honey how are you?

**Stef:** I'm okay mom

**Mike:** Hey just wanted to check and make sure your okay

**Stef:** I'm okay I'm going to be just fine, going to be off for a few weeks though.

**Mike:** Well just rest up that's all that matters. Captain Roberts said take all the time you need.

**Sharon:** Well kids why don't we go back home so your mom can rest and she will see you all tomorrow when she comes home.

**Stef:** Grandma's right guys you need to get into bed it's late but I will see you tomorrow.

Brandon, Mariana and Jesus all looked at me nodding. I could tell they didn't want to go but they knew they weren't going to win this argument. I see how tired Lena is and I want her to stay with me tonight, but I want her to go home and get rest it has been a long and emotionally exhausting day.

**Stef:** Lena you should go home and get some rest

**Lena:** Stef I'm not going anywhere. I am staying right here with you until you are cleared to go home

**Stef:** Alright everyone thanks for coming. I will see you all tomorrow.

**Mike:** Alright night Stef get some rest. You to Lena

**Lena:** I'll walk you out. I will be right back Stef

**Stef:** Sounds good...Hey Mike one sec

After everyone leaves I look at Mike and smile as I know what he did tonight and wanted him to know how much I appreciate it.

**Mike:** What's up Stef?

**Stef:** Thank you for coming to the scene. And thanks for being there for Lena I know that this hasn't been easy on you at all

**Mike:** Hey I understand. Lena and I understand each other now Stef, I get it she loves you and you love her.

**Stef:** Thanks

**Mike:** Anytime. Take care Stef and get some rest and I will come by and see you tomorrow at home.

After everyone is gone and Lena comes back I smile at her.

**Stef:** Thanks for staying with me love

**Lena:** There is no where else I would rather be

**Stef:** Can you please hold me?

**Lena:** Of course

I feel Lena's arms wrap around me as I lay my head on her chest feeling the safest I have felt all day. The calming sound of her heart beating and a kiss on my head makes me relax for the first time since I got to the hospital and slowly I drift asleep.

**You're in my heart**

Song Credit: That's the Reason by No Angels


	10. Weekend Getaway

Sorry for the lack of updates been a hectic week this week and a lot of crap happening :) But here is another update and hopefully another one to follow tonight :) Please leave reviews and if anyone has suggestions let me know, I have a few ideas of things to come but open to other suggestions to add to it.

Thanks again for reading and I hope you enjoy

********PLEASE NOTE********

**This Chapter is rated M**

**There's nothing I could say to you**  
><strong>Nothing I could ever do to make you see<strong>  
><strong>What you mean to me<strong>

It's been just over 3 weeks since the incident with Stef and she has been healing well. I know she is going crazy having everyone weight on her and being stuck at home. Her mom stayed for two weeks and I managed to get two weeks off to stay with her. But I know how she gets restless being off work for too long. I know she can't wait to get back to work and I know that is a week away. My mom is flying in this morning and Stef and I are going to take a much needed weekend away just the two of us. We need to reconnect and I really want to get her away from all the craziness of our busy household before she goes back to work.

**Dana:** I'm here

**Lena:** Mom we could have picked you up?

**Dana:** Nonsense. You look tired dear

**Lena:** Thanks

**Stef:** Dana thanks for coming

**Dana:** How are you feeling dear? Your looking really good.

**Stef:** I'm doing good Dana. I am going to go make sure we have everything

_I stand and watch Stef walk away, she has been really restless and I almost feel at times that she is drifting away from me._

**Dana:** Are you sure she's okay?

**Lena:** I don't know mom, she seems okay but she has been very quiet the last week and withdrawn. I think being off work this long has just gotten to her.

**Dana:** Ya that makes sense Stef has never been one to just lay low even when she needs it.

**Mariana:** Gram your here

**Dana:** Hi beautiful where are your brothers I brought presents

**Mariana:** I'll go get them...Brandon, Jesus gram's is here and she has presents.

**Lena:** I'm going to go check on Stef

**Dana:** Okay I am going to give my grandbabies some presents

I am in our room making sure we have everything packed for the weekend. The last three weeks have been so overwhelming and exhausting, I feel myself drifting from Lena and the kids and I'm not meaning to at all. After the incident I poured my heart out to Lena and I feel so good about that and the first day coming home sitting on the couch with my head in Lena's lap and all the kids around us watching a movie was perfect. Maybe it's just the fact that I have been going stir crazy for the last 3 weeks. I don't know but all I know is I am looking forward to sometime with Lena this weekend.

**All the pain, the tears I cried**  
><strong>Still you never said goodbye and now I know<strong>  
><strong>How far you'd go<strong>

_I am standing at the door watching Stef and I know something is bothering her and it's killing me inside that she isn't letting me in to help her.I just want so badly to take whatever is bothering her away from her as she has been through so much the last 3 weeks we all have been. Finally I walk in and decide to talk to her. _

**Lena:** Hey babe everything okay?

**Stef:** Hi love everything is great. I think we have everything for the weekend.

**Lena:** Stef that's not what I'm meaning.

**Stef:** I know Love and everything is going to be fine. I am just looking forward to this weekend and being alone with you.

I lean over and kiss Lena gently on the lips before pulling back and smiling at her. Trying to assure her that things are okay.

**Lena:** Me too

**Stef:** Well lets go say goodbye to the kids and get going.

**Lena:** I'll take the bags to the car and come back in and say goodbye.

**I know I let you down**  
><strong>But it's not like that now<strong>  
><strong>This time I'll never let you go<strong>

We pull up to the little bed and breakfast not far outside of the city that we booked for the weekend. After getting into our room I smile looking around thinking how great 2 whole days just the two of us exactly what we have both needed for so long.

**Lena:** So did you want to go for a walk on the beach or something?

**Stef:** I actually have a better idea

**Lena:** Really what is that?

**I will be, all that you want**  
><strong>And gather myself together<strong>  
><strong>Cause you keep me from falling apart<strong>  
><strong>All my life, I'll be with you forever<strong>  
><strong>To get you through the day<strong>  
><strong>And make everything OK<strong>

I pull Lena into my arms and kiss her, a kiss full of hunger, need and desire. I have missed kissing her and feeling her close to me, she has been so hesitant to touch me since the incident and it's been killing me. I just need to feel her every part of her, I need to feel whole again, to forget everything that happened 3 weeks ago. I just need Lena.

**Lena:** Stef...Stef we can't

**Stef:** What Lena? I need you Lena

**Lena:** I know but

**Stef:** Why did we come here Lena? Why did we get your mom to fly in to spend the weekend with our kids and book this romantic bed and breakfast. Why Lena? To sit and stare at each other or lie in bed next to one another? I mean really we could have just stayed at home and done that. I need you Lena and I've needed you more then ever the last 3 weeks and yes I know I was hurt but I am fine now Lena and all I want is to be with you and feel you again. I need to be whole again Lena and I'm not. So tell me why did we come here. Why don't you want me Lena I don't get it? I poured my heart out to you and it's like now you don't want me anymore.

**Lena:** I know it's just

**Stef:** Nevermind I am going for a walk. Let me know when you figure it out.

**I thought that I had everything**  
><strong>I didn't know what life could bring<strong>  
><strong>But now I see, honestly<strong>

**You're the one thing I got right**  
><strong>The only one I let inside<strong>  
><strong>Now I can breathe, cause you're here with me<strong>

_I stand in the room watching Stef walk out the sliding door onto the beach, I am stunned I never imagined that this is how our weekend was going to start. I wanted this weekend to be about Stef and I reconnecting and sure I knew that she was going to want that and so did I. I have just been so scared to hurt her and that is the last thing that I want to do, but never did I think that by not being there for her the way she needed me the last 3 weeks that I may have caused more hurt then I realized. I have been so worried about physically hurting her that I haven't wanted to hold her or do anything that would cause her pain but by neglecting that I have caused emotional heart ache._

Lena: Dammit Lena...STEF STEF WAIT

I walk out of the room and head toward the beach, I feel the tears building up in my eyes and I can no longer hold them in. I sit on the beach and let the tears fall, wondering how the hell we ended up being like this? There was a time that Lena wanted me and I don't get it I poured my heart out to her 3 weeks ago and now it's like she just wants to keep me at arms length.

**And if I let you down**  
><strong>I'll turn it all around<strong>  
><strong>Cause I would never let you go<strong>

**Lena:** Mind if I join you

_I am waiting for a response from Stef and I know I'm not going to get one. It isn't until I sit beside her I realize she is crying. I place my hand on her back rubbing small circles until I feel her flinch and I remove my hand, I should have expected that, she is hurting right now and I am the cause of that and never in a million years have I ever wanted to cause her any pain._

**Lena:** I'm sorry babe. I am so sorry. Your right we came here to be together and I need you just as much as you need me. I've been scared, I was so scared when Mike called me that day and how I could have lost you that day. I have been so worried about not wanting to hurt you while you were healing I didn't even think that I would hurt you emotionally. That has never been my intention ever Stef, your the love of my life and it kills me to see you crying and knowing that I am the cause of that. Please babe look at me...I love you Stef more then anything and I want nothing more then to make love to you and I'm sorry I have been pushing you away I haven't meant to at all you are the last person in the world I want to push away as your the other half of me and I need to feel whole again myself. Will you let me make us feel whole again?

Before I have the chance to respond I feel Lena pushing me down kissing me, her lips forcefully pushed against mine, her body now on top of mine, her tongue gliding along my lips waiting for access. I part my lips allowing our tongues to meet for the first time in 3 weeks as I wrap my arms around her holding her closer as our tongues continue to dance together. I feel her pull her lips from mine and instantly my lips feel tingly and miss hers. I go to say something in protest but when I open my eyes I look up and see her beautiful brown eyes looking down at me.

**I will be, all that you want**  
><strong>And gather myself together<strong>  
><strong>Cause you keep me from falling apart<strong>  
><strong>All my life, I'll be with you forever<strong>  
><strong>To get you through the day<strong>  
><strong>And make everything OK<strong>

**Lena:** I love you Stefanie Marie Foster more then life itself

**Stef:** I love you to

**Lena:** Let's go take this back to our room

**Stef:** Sounds like a good idea

_I stand up brushing sand off of me before taking Stef's hands in mine and pulling her up toward me. I help her brush the sand off of her before wrapping my arm around her waist, feeling her slip hers around mine as we headed back towards our room. _

**Cause without you I cant breathe**  
><strong>I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave<strong>  
><strong>You're all I've got, you're all I want<strong>  
><strong>Yeah<strong>

**Stef:** I think I need to have a shower and rinse out this sand care to join me?

**Lena:** Can't wait

We both run into the bathroom stripping our clothes and leaving them in a pile on the floor. I get into the shower first and feel Lena's arms around me and instantly felt safe, this is where I belong is in her arms.

**And without you I don't know what I'd do**  
><strong>I can never, ever live a day without you<strong>  
><strong>Here with me, do you see,<strong>  
><strong>You're all I need<strong>

**Stef:** God I've missed you

**Lena:** I've missed you to

**Stef:** Really?

**Lena:** Really and I plan on showing you just how much right now

I feel Lena push me against the wall as her mouth attacks mine with such hunger and desire I can't help but moan into that kiss. Her hands roaming my body as if it was the first time they have ever explored them. Before I know it I feel her fingers entering me, I am so worked up and shocked at how quickly she was going there I gasped.

**Lena:** I'm sorry did I hurt you?

**Stef:** Don't stop

**I will be, all that you want**  
><strong>And gather myself together<strong>  
><strong>Cause you keep me from falling apart<strong>  
><strong>All my life, I'll be with you forever<strong>  
><strong>To get you through the day<strong>  
><strong>And make everything OK<strong>

_I felt her gasp when I pushed three fingers into her, I stopped and pulled back worried I had hurt her but when I hear the words don't stop. I continue to pump my fingers inside of her, thrusting harder each time. Grabbing one of her legs I wrap it around my waist as I continue to thrust myself into her, kissing and sucking her neck hearing her scream out my name LENA OH GOD LENA OH LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I knew right then and there that she had reached her peak but I'm not done I love feeling her body tremble and feeling her warm cum all over my hand as the water is pounding against my back. The sensation that I am feeling in this moment is enough to send me over the edge and Stef hasn't even done anything to me except hold onto me as if she was never going to see me again. I love how my woman screams and moans so loudly that I don't even care if everyone can hear her as in this moment I want everyone to know that she is mine and I can make her scream and have multiple orgasms. I continue to thrust into her and feel her trembling. I know in this moment now she has lost all control of her body, I feel her getting heavier against me as her body has completely given itself over to me. Once more I feel her orgasm again and I pull my fingers out and wrap my arms tightly around her holding her as I feel her go limp in my arms, I kiss her head over and over again until I feel her body gain it's strength back and slowly release my tight grip on her._

**Stef:** That was amazing

**Lena:** That was a preview of what I plan to do to you this weekend

**Stef:** What did I ever do to deserve you?

**Lena:** We were made for each other question should be how did it take us so long to find each other?

I pull her close to me and kiss her turning her to have her back against the wall.

**Lena:** No babe this was all about you. Let's shower and go get some dinner and you can make it up to me later

Wanting to protest I knew I wasn't going to win this battle. So for now we will shower and head out for dinner. But I can't wait to get back after dinner and make love to my woman the way she did to me just now. Right now in this moment I know we are going to be okay. I know we are finding our way back to one another.

**I will be, all that you want**  
><strong>And gather myself together<strong>  
><strong>Cause you keep me from falling apart<strong>  
><strong>All my life, I'll be with you forever<strong>  
><strong>To get you through the day<strong>  
><strong>And make everything OK<strong>


	11. Temptation

**Aren't you somethin' to admire?**  
><strong>'Cause your shine is somethin' like a mirror<strong>  
><strong>And I can't help but notice<strong>  
><strong>You reflect in this heart of mine<strong>  
><strong>If you ever feel alone and<strong>  
><strong>The glare makes me hard to find<strong>  
><strong>Just know that I'm always<strong>  
><strong>Parallel on the other side<strong>

_Tonight was Kelly and Jenna's wedding after years of being together and the law finally allowing same sex marriage they decided to finally tie the knot. Tonight I was going to stand up beside one of my best friends as her maid of honor and I couldn't be happier, but at the same time a little sad. I know Stef and I have talked about marriage before and I know that she doesn't want to be married again, she says she doesn't need a paper to say that we belong together, for all intensive purposes we are married and technically she is right. Technically we are domestic partners and married in our hearts but it doesn't stop me from thinking how nice it would be now that we can legally be married to want to marry her. I sigh slightly looking at Jenna while helping fix her dress. _

**Jenna:** I can't believe after all these years we can finally be married

**Lena:** It's amazing finally the government sees that same sex couples have the same rights as heterosexual couples.

**Jenna:** So why aren't you and Stef?

**Lena:** We don't need to get married we are married in our hearts and that's okay

**Jenna:** Ya I guess, but it would be nice to get married don't you think?

**Lena:** Ya I guess but I know that Stef doesn't want to get married again and I am okay with that. I know she loves me and I love her and that is what matters the most.

**Jenna:** Ya your right besides saves money as well

**Lena:** Ya that's for sure

**Jenna:** Well I'm going to go check on a couple things I will be right back. Lena have you met Shannon? Shannon is an old friend of mine from college.

**Lena:** Nice to meet you

**Shannon:** Like wise

**Jenna:** Well I will leave you two to get acquainted and see you soon

**Shannon:** So I couldn't help but overhear that your partner doesn't want to get married?

**Lena:** No she was married before and well that was well you know

**Shannon:** Well if I was her I wouldn't risk losing you

**'Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul**  
><strong>I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go<strong>  
><strong>Just put your hand on the glass<strong>  
><strong>I'll be tryin' to pull you through<strong>  
><strong>You just gotta be strong<strong>

_I stand there and watch as Shannon walks out of the room and I'm left speechless. She was a gorgeous English woman with the most amazing accent that I have ever heard, her hair was long and curly and rested just above her waist. She had legs that seemed to go on forever and I couldn't help but catch myself stare at her legs and back as she walked out of the room. It wasn't until Stef came in that my mind focused again._

**Stef:** Hey love wow you look gorgeous

**Lena:** Hey babe you look great yourself

**Stef:** Are you okay?

**Lena:** Ya sorry just got lost in thought.

**Stef:** Okay well I think they want to get started so I thought I would come and get you since I get to be your escort down the aisle

**Lena:** Great lets go

**'Cause I don't wanna lose you now**  
><strong>I'm lookin' right at the other half of me<strong>  
><strong>The vacancy that sat in my heart<strong>  
><strong>Is a space that now you hold<strong>  
><strong>Show me how to fight for now<strong>  
><strong>And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy<strong>  
><strong>Comin' back here to you once I figured it out<strong>  
><strong>You were right here all along<strong>

I pull Lena back when she starts to walk away and kiss her softly on the lips and hold her close just a little longer then I intended to. As soon as I let go she smiles and starts to walk out of the room and I am left standing there watching as she walks out of the room and I know something is up with her.

**Jenna:** Hey Stef you ready?

**Stef:** Ya sorry

_We are getting in line and I am standing in front of Shannon when I hear her whisper something into my ear that makes my heart skip a beat and I swear I felt my face turn 10 shades of grey._

Shannon: we should have a dance later

**It's like you're my mirror**  
><strong>My mirror staring back at me<strong>  
><strong>I couldn't get any bigger<strong>  
><strong>With anyone else beside of me<strong>  
><strong>And now it's clear as this promise<strong>  
><strong>That we're making two reflections into one<strong>  
><strong>'Cause it's like you're my mirror<strong>  
><strong>My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me<strong>

I am walking out of the room and I see a woman behind Lena whispering into her ear and I see Lena's face and right there my heart felt like it had been ripped out of my chest. That is what her problem is, I haven't seen Lena's react that way for as long as I can remember. Right now I shake the feeling I have and walk over and take my Lena's hand and pull her into the deepest and most passionate kiss that I could possibly give her, wanting her to remember how much I love her.

**Lena:** Stef what are you?

**Stef:** Hi I'm Stef Lena's partner

**Shannon:** Hi I'm Shannon

**Kelly:** Alright are we ready ladies?

**Lena:** Let's just get this over with

_After the ceremony and pictures Shannon is consistently flirting with me and I can't help but enjoy the attention. After sitting at the table talking with her and eating, I feel her hand on my leg and I instantly realize how wrong this was and I move my leg and turn to look and notice Stef is gone._

**Aren't you somethin', an original  
>'Cause it doesn't seem merely a sample<br>And I can't help but stare, 'cause  
>I see truth somewhere in your eyes<br>I can't ever change without you  
>You reflect me, I love that about you<br>And if I could, I would look at us all the time**

After the ceremony is done and pictures are done I head out of the reception as I needed to get some fresh air. Seeing Shannon constantly flirting with Lena was setting me off. Finally after watching them flirt back and forth all day has pushed me far enough over the edge. It is killing me that my gorgeous partner is showing her attention to another woman while I am trying everything to get her to notice me.

**Shannon:** She left about 20 minutes ago. Why did you move your leg away

**Lena:** I'm sorry Shannon I love my wife

**Shannon:** Your partner

**Lena:** We may not be married but she is my wife. I have to go

**'Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul**  
><strong>I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go<strong>  
><strong>Just put your hand on the glass<strong>  
><strong>I'll be tryin' to pull you through<strong>  
><strong>You just gotta be strong<strong>

_Before she has a chance to say anything I get up and run towards the door taking a quick glance over at our kids. Seeing them made me smile and I can't believe that I let an attraction to another woman interfere with my family. I need to find Stef, I run outside and I can see her sitting on a bench not far from me, I walk over knowing I need to make this right._

**Lena:** Hey there you are

**Stef:** Oh you noticed I was missing did you

**Lena:** Come on Stef

**Stef:** No come on Lena. I kiss you today and you pull away from me and then I see you flirting with another woman and when I try to kiss you and let it known that your mine you get mad at me. Then all day you have spent flirting with her while I sit there and watch. So come on Lena

**Lena:** I'm sorry Stef it's not what you think

**Stef:** What is it then Lena? Cause I haven't seen you look at me that way in awhile.

**Lena:** I love you Stef and I'm sorry I don't know what got into me today. She is nothing compared to you, yes it was nice to have someone think I was attractive but I could never

**Stef:** Lena I think your the most amazing and beautiful woman in the world and I tell you that all the time.

**Lena:** I know Stef I know. I'm sorry I only want you Stef no other woman can make me feel the way you do. I'm sorry please Stef I love you so much please forgive me.

**Stef:** I will always forgive you Lena. But right now I am beyond hurt I have never felt my heart break so much as it did today.

**Lena:** I know I'm sorry. I guess I haven't been doing a good job of keeping my end of the bargain have I?

**Stef:** What do you mean?

**Lena:** I told Mike the day we moved in together that I would spend everyday for the rest of my life making sure your happy and I obviously haven't been doing a very good job of it.

**Stef:** Love all couples go through things and obviously I haven't been doing a good enough job myself otherwise you wouldn't have needed to get attention from another woman. But you make me happy everyday just by being you. I love you Lena and I know that you love me.

**'Cause I don't wanna lose you now**  
><strong>I'm lookin' right at the other half of me<strong>  
><strong>The vacancy that sat in my heart<strong>  
><strong>Is a space that now you hold<strong>  
><strong>Show me how to fight for now<strong>  
><strong>And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy<strong>  
><strong>Comin' back here to you once I figured it out<strong>  
><strong>You were right here all along<strong>

_I wrap my arm around Stef and place a hand on her cheek and pull her into a soft and tender kiss. Instantly I feel the burning inside of me, the ache for her and right now I'm reminded exactly how lucky I truly am having her in my life. _

**Lena:** How about a dance?

I take Lena's hand as we head back into the reception for the rest of the night I am not letting go of her hand. Once back in the room I look around and see our kids laughing and goofing around. We head to the dance floor finally all I have been waiting for all day is to hold Lena in my arms and dance with her. Not long after we get on the dance floor the music slows down and I pull Lena even closer to me pressing my lips to hers, I can feel her heart beating against my chest and feel my knees buckle when I feel her deepen the kiss and her hands go to cup my ass. I pull back and look at her

**It's like you're my mirror**  
><strong>My mirror staring back at me<strong>  
><strong>I couldn't get any bigger<strong>  
><strong>With anyone else beside of me<strong>  
><strong>And now it's clear as this promise<strong>  
><strong>That we're making two reflections into one<strong>  
><strong>'Cause it's like you're my mirror<strong>  
><strong>My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me<strong>

**Yesterday is history**  
><strong>Tomorrow's a mystery<strong>  
><strong>I can see you lookin' back at me<strong>  
><strong>Keep your eyes on me<strong>  
><strong>Baby, keep your eyes on me<strong>

**Lena:** What can't I feel my woman's ass

**Stef:** Oh god I love it when you call me woman

**Lena:** I know

**Stef:** I think we should get out of here

**Lena:** Really?

**Stef:** Yes really you know I can't resist you when you call me woman

**'Cause I don't wanna lose you now**  
><strong>I'm lookin' right at the other half of me<strong>  
><strong>The vacancy that sat in my heart<strong>  
><strong>Is a space that now you hold<strong>  
><strong>Show me how to fight for now (please show me, baby)<strong>  
><strong>I'll tell you, baby, it was easy<strong>  
><strong>Comin' back here to you once I figured it out<strong>  
><strong>You were right here all along<strong>

Laughing I clutch her hand tighter in mine, we gather up the kids so we can head home. As we're walking out I see Shannon standing there eyeing up my woman. I couldn't resist anymore I walk over to her still holding onto Lena's hand.

**Stef:** Now that is how you get her. You never stood a chance.

**It's like you're my mirror**  
><strong>mirror staring back at me<strong>  
><strong>I couldn't get any bigger<strong>  
><strong>With anyone else beside of me<strong>  
><strong>And now it's clear as this promise<strong>  
><strong>That we're making two reflections into one<strong>  
><strong>'Cause it's like you're my mirror<strong>  
><strong>My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me<strong>

**You are, you are the love of my life**

Song Credit: Justin Timberlake Mirror

Please note the next chapter will move into the introduction of Callie and Jude :)


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